Anger and Irritation

I know I need to work with anger better. When I've been meditating regularly, I find I am much more in control of my anger with the outside world, but I still struggle with my frustration with my kids.

Thich Nhat Hanh writes in Being Peace: "When anger comes up, we are determined to not do or say anything, but to practice mindful breathing and mindful walking and acknowledge, embrace, and look deeply into our anger. We will learn to look with the eyes of compassion at those we think are the cause of our anger."

Sitting at my computer and typing that or reading it in the morning with a cup of coffee, I think, "Absolutely. That's not so hard."

Then my daughter wakes her brother and me up from our naps by screaming about the pincher bug in her room and then tries to trap her brother in her room to play camping while he screams non-stop and she tells me that she has to have him in her room because it's dark and they're camping and I can feel a temper tantrum coming (from her, not me) and I start to feel aggitated about needing to avoid a temper tantrum and I find myself overwhelmed with frustration.

Or we have this conversation: "Mom, what's a cabeedie."
"I don't know."
"What's a cabeedie?"
"I don't know."
"It's what Mailbox said on Blue's Clues. What is it? "
"I don't know."
"What IS it?"
"I don't know."
"MOM, WHAT IS IT?!?"

This conversation continues until I get irritated, to which she responds with the usual attitude, which irritates me more.

I don't hurt her. But I use a harsh tone with her. And I can often see how my tone escalates the situation. I use a harsh tone. Then she uses a harsh tone, which I respond to with an even harsher tone. Things continue until she's in time out and hysterical, and I'm no longer frustrated, but angry.

That first moment is a turning point. If I can only catch myself at that moment and be mindful instead of reactive. I mean, I am the grown up here, right?

I think I'll work on this the next couple of days: being mindful when I feel irritation coming on. It's harder than it sounds, but it's worth a shot.

The irony: A time out occured during the writing of this blog entry. DD was yelling at her brother for knocking over her "tent." **sigh** I think I need to go be present with my kids.

Metta.