Summer Review

What a whirlwind of a summer we had! It was fun and in some cases exciting, and at the same time, it was also not the restful summer I am used to. I am not starting the school year feeling rested, but it's okay. It was worth it.

Summer was fun because:

1. We went to Disneyland.
2. I went to summer camp.
3. We adopted a new puppy.

It was exhausting because:

1. I worked too much.
2. I was gone a lot.
3. We went to Disneyland.
4. I went to space camp within a week of Jason going to San Francisco for a conference.
5. We adopted a new puppy.

I know, blah, blah, blah. busy. blah, blah, blah, work. blah, blah, blah, tired.

The story of my life. Anyway, here are some pictures to illustrate the fun:

Happy new school year, everyone.


 

Feeling ADD

We suspect our daughter might have ADD. Her brain pops around from one thing to another, so much so that she sometimes wanders around the house with one shoe on because something distracted her half way through the dressing process. In fact, right now she is walking around with her PJ shirt on inside out and backward. She reminds me of the dog in Up who gets distracted by squirrels.

And lately I remind myself of her. My goal this year has been to simplify. Part of this process is physical - downsizing the number of possessions in my life. Part of this process is mental - focusing on the things that matter. A lot of that process is task-oriented - decreasing the number of items that find their way onto my to-do list.

This last element - the number of tasks on my to-do list - is challenging for me. I guess I am a bit of a workaholic. I cringe as I write that word workaholic. People often throw this term around with a sort of martyr-like pride. I don't see it that way. Working too much is not a good thing. It's not good for me, my family or my classes. And it's not wise living.

I am lucky in that I work in a field that I find exciting and challenging and fun, but that often means that I find myself immersed in problems I am trying to solve, sometimes even when they don't relate to my own classroom. Because I am buried in way, WAY too many projects at work, they take away from my main priorities in life - my children and my students.

Right now I am reading a book on literacy across the curriculum and taking notes to share with colleagues; I am working on unwrapping the new Common Core standards so that the department can apply them to all levels of English courses; I have been tutoring (for free) a student I have never had in class because he is trying to pass the writing proficiency test; I am meeting with local community members to start creating a broader vision for education in my town; I am reading materials to prepare to assist my colleague as she leads us through the accreditation process; and I am reading Milton Chen's work and brainstorming ways his ideas can apply to what I do. And this is all stuff that I am doing now, in the summer, when school isn't in session.


The result is that I feel like I have ADD. Even without classes to lesson plan for, to teach to, and to grade for, I feel spread too thin with my school-related commitments. Like my daugther, I am running around partially dressed because something has distracted me midway through the process. I am tired, spread too thin, and grouchy.

And these are just my summer work projects. This issue translates very well into my world of crafting and household projects.

A few years ago I read an article called "Saying No So That I Can Say Yes." Her premise was that it is important to say no to things so that you can say yes to the things that matter. Say no to being the PTA secretary so that you can spend more time reading with your child. Say no to that extra committee at work so that you can fit in a workout every day. Say no to a party invitation so that you can say yes to movie night with your children. This should become my mantra - Say No So That You Can Say Yes.


The good thing about blogging is that I can figure things out as the words move from my brain through my fingers and onto this blog. The answer to this problem is that I need to decide what summer work projects are the ones I want to focus my attentions on and erase all others from my to-do list. And I should do the same with the crafting projects and the household projects - choose more wisely where I want to spend my time. Because it's stupid to over-commit.

Wishing you simple living.

Learning Exp

Gwen Bell - Big Love in a Small World - Blog - The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge: "December 24 Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?"
I have learned a lot about happiness this year, about moving on and letting go, about handling anger, about coaching the mind to be happy even when all you're doing is sitting on a cushion.

One concept stands out, however. I discovered the concept of neural plasticity. It's a scientific concept that has far reaching implications in everyday lives. I have blogged about it before, but it's the idea that although the physical structure and makeup of the brain affect our thoughts, as it turns out, our thoughts can affect the physical structure and makeup of the brain.

Now, you might be thinking that this is a concept, not a real lesson, but it was the Rick Hanson retreat where I learned the applicable lesson. Hanson had us meditate on something that made us happy and to focus on that happiness. The effect was euphoria. Really. True euphoria. It didn't last long for me, but at that moment, it was like a new world cracked open to me and new possibilities were born.

At that moment, it became very clear to me just how powerful the idea of neural plasticity can be.

If there was one thing I would shout from the tops of buildings, it would be, "People! You do not have to be a victim to your biological makeup . . . well, neurologically speaking, anyway." Ok. Maybe the tops of buildings isn't the most effective form of relaying this message, but I want every American to be exposed to this concept. We are a culture of anitdepressants. I have no qualms with people taking antidepressants. This is more about a cultural pattern than an individual struggling with depression. But we need to know that there are things we can do to affect the way our brains function. Powerfully affect the way our brains function. And if we keep at it, momentum comes into play, and that positive force forms more positive energy.

Although I have experienced some very stressful situations this year, I have been happier than I have ever been for many reasons, but largely because I opened myself up to the possibility of true happiness and the idea of myself being that true source of happiness.

It rocked my world.

I feel one other lesson must be addressed. Last spring, when *things* were happening at work and I was experiencing a great deal of anger, I listened to one of Gil Fronsdal's podcasts on anger. Fronsdale works at both the San Francisco Zen Center and Spirit Rock Meditation Center.  I don't remember if it was from Audio Dharma or Zencast, but I do remember him saying that paradoxically, the best time to work with anger is when you're not angry. So that is what I did. Once the situation dissipated, I spent three months working with anger - paying attention to it, looking into its causes, and practicing with skillful methods of dealing with it. I still have work to do, but I grew a lot during that three months.

So thank you to Rick Hanson, Gil Fronsdal, and the Buddha for these lessons, which will undoubtedly resonate in 2010.

Best of 2009: Startup, Moment of Peace, and Challenge

Gwen Bell - Big Love in a Small World - Blog - The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge: "What's a business that you found this year that you love? Who thought it up? What makes it special?"

Can't say I can think of anything. Not one. I have stores I love. My favorite being County Purr Farm, my local scrapbooking store, where I have spent hours with my closest girl friends creating and talking. I also love The Purple Avacado, although I can count on one hand how many times I crossed the purple threshold in 2009. I will always enjoy spending time at my local JoAnne's and the local Mill End even if the past two years have seen a drastic decrease in my time at the sewing machine. There's something about walking down aisles of fabric, creating in my head all sorts of projects - a skirt from purple jersey for me, blue and white PJs for my son, a lady bug dress for my daughter. I get to sew even if the products never materialize. As weird as it may seem, I love my neighborhood Walgreen's - I print my beloved photos there, and you can get great college-ruled, purse-sized notebooks for a dollar! I still love New York and Company for clothes that actually fit me and Gap Body for the most comfie undies known to womankind.

None of these count, however, because they are not new to me. So I'm tapping out of this one.

For my catch-up entry, Ms. Bell asks about a moment of peace. This year is a good one for me. I would say I reached a deeper state of concentration than I have before and that I have reached levels of peace more profoundly than I have before, but it seems that writing about them is impossible without making it sound trite and cliche. Let me just say that my three-month focus on practice, my retreats, and Focused and Fearless really helped me progress in my practice.

My best challenge is easy, but what I just wrote had to be deleted because it would not be professional of me to post about it in a public setting. I'll sum it up to say budget cuts suck, and sometimes being the person representing others can be incredibly stressful - knowing that if you blow it, you're blowing it for thirty people, not just yourself, adds to the stress immensely. It was a challenge in managing anger, in leading, in communicating, and in dealing with disagreement. We lost. But I grew a lot in the process.

What a Crazy Semester

This last semester was insane - busy and the most stressful I have had in eleven years as a teacher. Budget cuts are no fun. Nevertheless, our school still stands, and I am alive and well and ready to do some blogging. Right now I'm trying to cram a semester's worth of neglect (health and well-being, house work, intellectual, parenting, etc.) into a week of summer, which doesn't seem to be working. I'm going to have to slow down and take things one step at a time.

I'm thinking of changing my blogging up some and moving the Buddhist commentary to its own blog. It seems weird to mix it with pictures of my kids. Those of us at Dharma Zephyr have been

I am going to work on getting my sewing and crafting space into shape and am going to take before and after pictures. I have a ridiculously long list of projects to work on this summer. My craft area is first on the list.

Right now I have to go handle a temper tantrum. signing off . . . .