As I Age . . .

I am rounding out my 40th year. I know for many, this age is disconcerting, but it hasn't been for me. In fact, I have very much enjoyed this year. I guess I see myself kind of like a bottle of really good Cabernet. I improve with age. However, the aging process has caused some reflection on my part.*

As this year comes to a close and the big four-one draws nearer, I have been thinking about how I have changed as I have gotten older.

• I care less about how I look and especially how much I weigh. That might not always be a good thing.
• I care more about what I do with my mind. I don't mean intellectually. I am more mindful not only about my actions but about my thoughts as well.
• I love my hometown more and more every year. I used to mumble if people asked me if I was a Native Nevadan, but not anymore. I feel more tied to my school as well.
• I am happier. For a variety of reasons. One is that I have creative outlets that in my twenties I didn't have (it's amazing what some patterned paper and some ink can do for a girl). Another is that I have more love in my life. I have children and a husband whom I adore and some good, solid friendships.
• Because I am more financially secure, I feel more . . . well . . . secure. I don't have to stress over every Hero Arts stamp I buy or order only appetizers and water when I go out with friends. Money does buy a certain freedom from stress.
• I become increasingly curious about my heritage. I haven't started digging through the books of the Mormon church yet (yes, my maternal grandmother was raised Mormon), but I am asking more questions about my family and wanting to write down the stories I do remember, such as my great uncle having to tie his horse every morning at school or my Grandma Laird's memory of walking home and seeing a fire in the distance, only to discover that it was her own house on fire and that her mother was dead.
• My requirements for a car have changed drastically. I now want **gasp** a minivan. Yes, a soul-killing, mojo-depleting minivan. But it will mean I can fit my kids and their friends in it. I can't even fit three booster seats in the back of my car. And I would do anything for a GPS device (though that's not a sign of me changing - I have always been directionally impaired. I still get lost right here in the town I grew up in. Just this Saturday I got lost taking my son to a birthday party).
• I care less about what people think of me, though I am not going to lie - there are still days I am that sixteen-year-old girl feeling the need to please others. Still, the desire to please diminishes every year, and oddly, the more that happens, the kinder I become. And I do things others think I shouldn't, like talk about the "shit fields" with my students or let them use their phones to send me messages via Poll Everywhere's web site during class. If it works educationally, I am doing it.

This makes me wonder, how have you changed as you've aged?

Me in 2004 with the hubby and the first-born.

Me in 2011 with the teachers from Oklahoma and Hawaii.

*What am I saying? EVERYTHING causes reflection on my part. I live my life in reflection mode. But that's a beside the point.

Our family right now

Thought I would toss out a family update:

Right now, Jason is back to school teaching all A.P. classes. He works hard at school and then picks up the kids, gets Roz going on homework and piano practice, and cooks dinner. On the weekends, he does the grocery shopping (at Costco, Trader Joe's and then maybe the regular grocery store) and often much of the cleaning. In short, he is working his butt off and functioning as the primary parent. I greatly appreciate everything he does, and at the same time, I hope to step in and do more of it as soon as things settle. He is also brainstorming topics for his master's thesis. As always he makes me laugh constantly.

Right now, Roz is back to school in the third grade. We love her teacher. So far, the GATE program hasn't made much difference, but we are hoping it will provide some enrichment for her. She hates homework with a passion, which concerns us. Hating homework at this age doesn't bode well for the teen years. She does passionately love reading, however. Swim lessons are on hiatus, and we are trying to decide if we will enroll her in art classes or karate. It's tricky - finding that balance between being appropriately stimulated and over-scheduled. Her favorite color has moved from rainbow to turquoise to purple, and she stills puts together some pretty crazy fashions. Often, she will disappear into her room to draw pictures and write stories.

Right now, Sawyer is in preschool and loves it. His teacher tells us repeatedly how sweet and easy he is. He loves to play with the dog and is into superheroes. His moving away from his train obsession makes his daddy happy and his mommy sad. As he always has been, he is a boy of routine. For example, he gets up every morning at 6 a.m., regardless of the day of the week, and immediately gets his fiber bar and eats it. He then plays for a while and then asks for an egg or a bowl of cereal.


Right now, I am heading off to my last CCSSO trip as teacher of the year. I am excited about a trip to New Jersey and New York, and although I am sad to say goodbye to my friends, I am looking forward to being more focused on my homelife and my plan to go on a residential retreat next year. (Yay!) I am no longer teaching A.P. classes and have replaced those classes with remedial English I, including one co-taught section. It's a stretch for me, but it has been a good stretch. I still teacher Senior Rhetoric, which I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. My creative outlet lately has been cardmaking, since I can have a finished product in about in fifteen minutes. I am trying to cut back on responsibilities at work.

Right now, Shadow has learned sit, down, stay, off, and leave it. We are working on come, and in case you are a stalker considering breaking into our house, we are training him on eat the nose off that guy. He doesn't jump on the kids as much, and I spend much of my home time trying to find ways to channel his lab energy, especially since walks make him nervous and he doesn't chase balls. We have found some good lab activities, like chase the red laser dot and walk four houses before you panic and try to run home.




That's the family Right Now update. Hope everyone is enjoying the cooler weather.

Summer Review

What a whirlwind of a summer we had! It was fun and in some cases exciting, and at the same time, it was also not the restful summer I am used to. I am not starting the school year feeling rested, but it's okay. It was worth it.

Summer was fun because:

1. We went to Disneyland.
2. I went to summer camp.
3. We adopted a new puppy.

It was exhausting because:

1. I worked too much.
2. I was gone a lot.
3. We went to Disneyland.
4. I went to space camp within a week of Jason going to San Francisco for a conference.
5. We adopted a new puppy.

I know, blah, blah, blah. busy. blah, blah, blah, work. blah, blah, blah, tired.

The story of my life. Anyway, here are some pictures to illustrate the fun:

Happy new school year, everyone.


 

Family Update

Goodness! Sometimes I read my blog and realize it's really heavy and, well, kind of dry. So I thought I would take a lighter approach and give a family update in the spirit of Stacy Julian:

Right now:

Roz has just finished science camp. She loved it, as did I. To name just one activity she participated in while there: She took an old iPod speaker station that she took apart and explored. She seems to be on the verge to learning to swim, which would be great. After all these years of lessons, she might actually swim across the pool. She finds homework boring, so although she misses school, she is glad to have the break from homework. She is also taking a break from piano lessons. This summer should be fun. She and I are loving reading together.

Sawyer is still obsessed with trains, but has branched out to cars, tools, and Spiderman, although trains are still his toy of choice. I don't mind, since I love them too. We love train rides, and with two trains in town we can ride, we have a fun summer ahead. He is also taking swimming lessons. He is starting a new day care/preschool this summer.

Jason is still working on his master's and is gearing up for his dissertation. His papers are really interesting, and I am learning a lot about post modernism by reading them for him. I am impressed with his hard work, passion, and insight.

I am taking a break from my master's and really looking forward to the summer ahead: Disneyland, Space Camp, naps, a few good books, lots of kid time, and some crafting.

Okay, so maybe this blog post is a little dry and a little Christmas-letter-family-bragging, but I wrote it so I am publishing it just like my students who refuse to edit out that paragraph they love but that actually detracts from the thesis.

Happy summer evening to everyone. I love these nights when the air is that perfect Nevada summer evening air - cool but not frigid, fresh and not hazy.

And One More Disclaimer (aka Getting Real)

All of my reflections on the best of 2009 makes me feel a little fake, like The Cosby Show, where no one has any problems that can't be solved in a half-hour with commercials and a good, ole down-to-earth chit chat with dad that always ends with a sweet, funny one-liner.

Despite all my chatter about peace and happiness, I still have a terrible problem with taking things personally. Like when my friends give away the spices I made them for Christmas or when my husband rolls his eyes in delight at my friend's Christmas candy, but won't even bother to break open the spices I ground and mixed and bottled. Like when my friend shows up a half hour late to use my shower at o-dark thirty in the morning without acknowledging the tardiness of the arrival or the fact that I got up at 5:30 on a Saturday to sit and wait for her to show up. Like when my brother and his wife don't show or call or mention the invitation to my child's birthday party. Like when my friend tells my daughter that "it's okay if she doesn't believe in God, but she should respect other people's beliefs," as if my daughter is some kind of freak who needs to respect but not be respected. Like . . . well, I need to quit this because my blood pressure is rising, and it's just not healthy, and I'm starting to see my life as more of a Roseanne episode than a Cosby episode.

Yup. Maybe for 2010, the goal ought to be to learn to not take things personally, cuz I got issues with that. I mean, I'm hauling this crap around like I'm Santa and it's my bag-o-goodies, only the goodies are for me and they aren't so good after all.

Best of 2009: Night Out

*YAWN*

That's not because of the topic suggested by Gwen Bell. It's because it's 7:00, and bedtime approaches. When you have a youngster in your house who gets up at 6:00 without fail, it's almost impossible to ever sleep in. Even when he decides to sleep in or he is at a grandma's house for the night or DH gets up with him, I'm up by 6:00, even earlier most of the time, wide awake unable to go back to sleep even if I desperately want to.

So nights out are rare for me because they usually require being out past a bedtime that allows for me to get some sleep. Still, I will occasionally venture out.

I have had a few fun nights out with the girls eating and drinking or eating and then catching a movie. The picture below was from a very fun night.

And tomorrow night will be another one of those nights. We don't often get wild. Sometimes we enjoy wine; other times we eat dinner and go window shopping. But just being with my girlfriends, enjoying their company, is a blast in and of itself.

However, I still think my best night was the one in which Jason and I went to La Strada and then saw Bill Maher. I knew we were going out to dinner, but my husband had tickets to Bill Maher purchased long in advance as a surprise. The dinner was great; the company even better. The kids had their first sleepover together, so we got to not worry about what time we got home or paying a babysitter. You can't beat that!

Watching Them Grow Part II

My lil' guy will be three next month! It's amazing how quickly time flies.

With his birthday approaching, I have been thinking a lot about how he has changed. He is a peculiar lad who gets very attached to certain things and certain routines. It's usually sweet and cute, although there are times it can make things difficult. Nevertheless, I thought I would share some of his cute quirks:

• He sleeps with a paci, two silky blankets and as many trains as he can cram into his bed.
• He loves to kiss me.
• He likes to take his Thomas train to the park and send it down the big, curly slide. In fact the above picture of him and his train was taken at a park.
• He is terrified of showers, spiders, nail clippers, and sitting on the toilet.
• Every morning when I get him out of bed, I dress him and then hang him upside down as I carry him downstairs. Once in the kitchen, I set him down and get him a granola bar. He sits in my chair at the table, but with his Thomas mat in front of him. (This is an example of one of his goofy routines. He isn't super flexible.
• He likes to sit on my lap while I surf the Thomas web page.
• He copies much of what his older sister does. If she says she has a stomach ache, he says he has one. If she says she doesn't like her dinner, he says he doesn't like his.
• He loves to be read to, which is one of my favorite things to do with him.
• He loves parks and the Children's Musuem.

Anyway, we're looking forward to Halloween, which around here is Friday because Saturday is Nevada Day. We get Friday off. WOOHOO!

Happy Nevada Day and Happy Halloween!

Watching them grow isn't always easy

My daughter is getting to be a "big kid." She already has that big kid attitude, the whatever in her voice. But she'll always be my little girl. I have been reflecting lately on her growing up and the things that I so admire or find endearing in her personality right now:

• She is an includer, always making sure people feel part of the group.
• Although she loves princesses, she also likes trains and tools.
• She is still, even at age six, a crazy dresser, and sometimes I want to scream You can't leave the house in THAT at her. Nevertheless, I bite my tongue and let her walk proudly out the door in her purple dress, red leggings, and rainbow socks.
• She is incredibly creative and can develop plot lines more intriguing that those in most children's movies.
• She can read better than some high school kids, no kidding. I knew she'd be a good reader, but holy cow, the girl can read some challenging material!
• She won't clean her room, but she will line up every toy in the bathroom, meticulously fold all the towels, strategically place the soap dispenser in the most particular way, and even line up the toilet paper rolls better than most OCD adults I know. Meanwhile, her room is literally dangerous to walk into.
• She has a better understanding of pitch than do I and is proving very successful on the piano.
• She draws lovely pictures of all sorts of things, but especially of people she loves.

Let us not forget to show our appreciation for those we love.