As I Age . . .

I am rounding out my 40th year. I know for many, this age is disconcerting, but it hasn't been for me. In fact, I have very much enjoyed this year. I guess I see myself kind of like a bottle of really good Cabernet. I improve with age. However, the aging process has caused some reflection on my part.*

As this year comes to a close and the big four-one draws nearer, I have been thinking about how I have changed as I have gotten older.

• I care less about how I look and especially how much I weigh. That might not always be a good thing.
• I care more about what I do with my mind. I don't mean intellectually. I am more mindful not only about my actions but about my thoughts as well.
• I love my hometown more and more every year. I used to mumble if people asked me if I was a Native Nevadan, but not anymore. I feel more tied to my school as well.
• I am happier. For a variety of reasons. One is that I have creative outlets that in my twenties I didn't have (it's amazing what some patterned paper and some ink can do for a girl). Another is that I have more love in my life. I have children and a husband whom I adore and some good, solid friendships.
• Because I am more financially secure, I feel more . . . well . . . secure. I don't have to stress over every Hero Arts stamp I buy or order only appetizers and water when I go out with friends. Money does buy a certain freedom from stress.
• I become increasingly curious about my heritage. I haven't started digging through the books of the Mormon church yet (yes, my maternal grandmother was raised Mormon), but I am asking more questions about my family and wanting to write down the stories I do remember, such as my great uncle having to tie his horse every morning at school or my Grandma Laird's memory of walking home and seeing a fire in the distance, only to discover that it was her own house on fire and that her mother was dead.
• My requirements for a car have changed drastically. I now want **gasp** a minivan. Yes, a soul-killing, mojo-depleting minivan. But it will mean I can fit my kids and their friends in it. I can't even fit three booster seats in the back of my car. And I would do anything for a GPS device (though that's not a sign of me changing - I have always been directionally impaired. I still get lost right here in the town I grew up in. Just this Saturday I got lost taking my son to a birthday party).
• I care less about what people think of me, though I am not going to lie - there are still days I am that sixteen-year-old girl feeling the need to please others. Still, the desire to please diminishes every year, and oddly, the more that happens, the kinder I become. And I do things others think I shouldn't, like talk about the "shit fields" with my students or let them use their phones to send me messages via Poll Everywhere's web site during class. If it works educationally, I am doing it.

This makes me wonder, how have you changed as you've aged?

Me in 2004 with the hubby and the first-born.

Me in 2011 with the teachers from Oklahoma and Hawaii.

*What am I saying? EVERYTHING causes reflection on my part. I live my life in reflection mode. But that's a beside the point.