Gwen Bell - Big Love in a Small World - Blog - The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge: "What's a business that you found this year that you love? Who thought it up? What makes it special?"
Can't say I can think of anything. Not one. I have stores I love. My favorite being County Purr Farm, my local scrapbooking store, where I have spent hours with my closest girl friends creating and talking. I also love The Purple Avacado, although I can count on one hand how many times I crossed the purple threshold in 2009. I will always enjoy spending time at my local JoAnne's and the local Mill End even if the past two years have seen a drastic decrease in my time at the sewing machine. There's something about walking down aisles of fabric, creating in my head all sorts of projects - a skirt from purple jersey for me, blue and white PJs for my son, a lady bug dress for my daughter. I get to sew even if the products never materialize. As weird as it may seem, I love my neighborhood Walgreen's - I print my beloved photos there, and you can get great college-ruled, purse-sized notebooks for a dollar! I still love New York and Company for clothes that actually fit me and Gap Body for the most comfie undies known to womankind.
None of these count, however, because they are not new to me. So I'm tapping out of this one.
For my catch-up entry, Ms. Bell asks about a moment of peace. This year is a good one for me. I would say I reached a deeper state of concentration than I have before and that I have reached levels of peace more profoundly than I have before, but it seems that writing about them is impossible without making it sound trite and cliche. Let me just say that my three-month focus on practice, my retreats, and Focused and Fearless really helped me progress in my practice.
My best challenge is easy, but what I just wrote had to be deleted because it would not be professional of me to post about it in a public setting. I'll sum it up to say budget cuts suck, and sometimes being the person representing others can be incredibly stressful - knowing that if you blow it, you're blowing it for thirty people, not just yourself, adds to the stress immensely. It was a challenge in managing anger, in leading, in communicating, and in dealing with disagreement. We lost. But I grew a lot in the process.
Showing posts with label Focused and Fearless. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Focused and Fearless. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Best of: Recap and Project
I have been following Gwen Bell's Best of 2009 blog challenge for December. I have covered quite a bit. Before I move on to today's blog, I want to clarify something. The blog on Focused and Fearless basically counts for best book, while its author counts as best new person, and the associated retreat counts as best workshop. For a book I wasn't that thrilled about reading, it made a huge impact on me and my practice.
Today's topic is "project." What did you start this year that you're proud of.
It took some time to ponder this one. For quite some time, I could think of nothing. My projects aren't huge; they are, nevertheless, projects about which I feel some pride. The first is the organization of my crafting space, which I blogged about this summer on my other blog. It's so much easier to work in that environment now, and the space invites creative play.
I did start organizing my files and desk area, but that -- sadly -- never really materialized past the purchased labeler and some nicely labeled files. I need more follow-through there.
The other project that I am feeling pretty good about has to do with the senior project. I am working toward making the project more technologically friendly. The senior project is, after all, supposed to prepare students for the "real world," and truthfully what could better prepare them for this current world than technology? So I took all our forms and made them Adobe forms.
However, the one project I am most anticipating is the new digitial portfolio we're going to be piloting. To prevent as many glitches as possible, I made a template that students will be able to work out of. It's in Word, but you then publish it as a web page so that the links work fluidly. Someone can scroll down, page by page, or click on links from the table of contents and then back again. I'm crossing my fingers that it plays out well and that we don't have tons of judges without portfolios to view for whatever reason. But I think it's worth the effort and time it has taken me.
Today's topic is "project." What did you start this year that you're proud of.
It took some time to ponder this one. For quite some time, I could think of nothing. My projects aren't huge; they are, nevertheless, projects about which I feel some pride. The first is the organization of my crafting space, which I blogged about this summer on my other blog. It's so much easier to work in that environment now, and the space invites creative play.
I did start organizing my files and desk area, but that -- sadly -- never really materialized past the purchased labeler and some nicely labeled files. I need more follow-through there.
The other project that I am feeling pretty good about has to do with the senior project. I am working toward making the project more technologically friendly. The senior project is, after all, supposed to prepare students for the "real world," and truthfully what could better prepare them for this current world than technology? So I took all our forms and made them Adobe forms.
However, the one project I am most anticipating is the new digitial portfolio we're going to be piloting. To prevent as many glitches as possible, I made a template that students will be able to work out of. It's in Word, but you then publish it as a web page so that the links work fluidly. Someone can scroll down, page by page, or click on links from the table of contents and then back again. I'm crossing my fingers that it plays out well and that we don't have tons of judges without portfolios to view for whatever reason. But I think it's worth the effort and time it has taken me.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Best of 2009: New Person and Best Book
This one is a hard one for me. I've met a lot of new people - I do every year as a teacher. I like a lot of them; in fact, I like a lot of them a lot. Lots of people from Dharma Zephyr have made an impact on me, but none of them are new. I've also gotten to know some people better who then kind of became new people to me because of the new impressions they made on me:
All of these people and more have made an impression on me, but I think the one person who most impacted me is someone I never got to really know personally: Shaila Chatherine, who wrote the book Focused and Fearless (the book that I have chosen as best book of 2009) and who taught one of the day-long retreats I attended.
I went into this book dragging my feet. I knew it was about the jhanas (euphoric states that arise from deep concentration), and so I expected that I would get little out of it. I may never in my life time reach a jhanic state and will certainly not do so any time in the near future. So when the sangha chose this book to read together, I thought it would likely not mean much to me.
But I was wrong. First of all, much of the book deals with elements that apply to all Buddhists and that must be well-developed in order to begin jhanic practice. Things like equanimity and concentration. In fact, Catherine's chapter on equanimity is the best I have ever read on the subject. I must have read it three times. So as it turns out, the book had quite a bit of application for me.
Plus, a new focus of meditation was opened to me. Before I had just tried to quiet my mind or I would sometimes do metta (loving kindness meditation). But after doing concentration practice, I learned how powerful concentration practice can be. With concentration comes quiet; with quiet comes peace; with peace comes happiness. I grew a lot in my practice as a result of Shaila Catherine's book and retreat.
So thank you to DZIMC for choosing this book and introducing me to this amazing person and thank you to Shaila Catherine for being such a knowledgeable person and for sharing that knowledge with us.
- Ben, a special ed teacher, and his wife. They're both incredibly dedicated to their professions, their politics, and their son.
- Corina, the person who will be our new SP Coordinator. She's uber organized and professional.
- Our superintendent. Underneath that stoic persona is a man who cares a lot.
- Kenley, the daughter of a couple friends of mine. She was born early in 2009. She's so adorable, unique, and cute that you can't help but adore her. She's a special needs baby who is the happiest baby I have EVER met.
- Jenny, Kenley's mom. I always saw her as a super business woman. After Kenley's birth, a new Jenny was revealed to me, one who is loving and adoring and yet a fierce advocate for her daughter. She has inspired me.
All of these people and more have made an impression on me, but I think the one person who most impacted me is someone I never got to really know personally: Shaila Chatherine, who wrote the book Focused and Fearless (the book that I have chosen as best book of 2009) and who taught one of the day-long retreats I attended.
I went into this book dragging my feet. I knew it was about the jhanas (euphoric states that arise from deep concentration), and so I expected that I would get little out of it. I may never in my life time reach a jhanic state and will certainly not do so any time in the near future. So when the sangha chose this book to read together, I thought it would likely not mean much to me.
But I was wrong. First of all, much of the book deals with elements that apply to all Buddhists and that must be well-developed in order to begin jhanic practice. Things like equanimity and concentration. In fact, Catherine's chapter on equanimity is the best I have ever read on the subject. I must have read it three times. So as it turns out, the book had quite a bit of application for me.
Plus, a new focus of meditation was opened to me. Before I had just tried to quiet my mind or I would sometimes do metta (loving kindness meditation). But after doing concentration practice, I learned how powerful concentration practice can be. With concentration comes quiet; with quiet comes peace; with peace comes happiness. I grew a lot in my practice as a result of Shaila Catherine's book and retreat.
So thank you to DZIMC for choosing this book and introducing me to this amazing person and thank you to Shaila Catherine for being such a knowledgeable person and for sharing that knowledge with us.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Equanimity Part I (Petie the Dog)
My sangha is reading Shaila Catherine's Focused and Fearless. At the moment, we are reading a chapter on equanimity. While I knew I had work to do with this practice, until we read this chapter and discussed it, I had no idea how much work I had to do with equanimity. So for that reason, I titled this Equanimity Part I, as I'm sure there will be more on the topic.
A little over a week ago, I made the difficult decision to put my dog down. It was difficult for the obvious reason: no one wants to say goodbye to a beloved pet. But on top of that, I felt in some way that I had betrayed him by taking him to his death. Logically, I know I did the right thing by him. Emotionally, I feel like Brutus. There is more to the story, but I'll spare you all the details that will surely mean more to me than to you.
While some people have monkey mind, the mind that jumps from thought to thought, for about a week I had monkey life. I made feeble attempts at resisting my grief and guilt. For three days, I spun my wheels until they almost feel off, dreading the quiet that did not fail to bring me to my knees. I did not meditate for a week, knowing that a quiet moment alone with my thoughts would involve lots of crying. I panicked and pushed myself to fatigue.
And here's where the equanimity, or lack thereof, comes into play. When the sangha talked about equanimity last week, it became clear to me that I had not handled his death with any kind of equanimity.
This kind of surprised me. A few months ago, my dad warned me about my dog's health and how I would have to make that hard decision sooner than later. I shrugged, assured him I was aware of that fact, and moved on. I almost felt guilty that the thought didn't make me feel sad. I knew my dog had lived a long life of sixteen years, and although I do not know what his first seven were like, I do know that the last nine have been pretty kosh.
So when the grief of saying goodbye to my dog doubled me over and sent me into a whirlwind of frantic attempts at escaping emotion coupled with bouts of sobbing, I was a little taken aback.
Equanimous, foschwamanous. I was, quite simply, a mess.
Monday night, we talked about equanimity, and I realized how much I clearly lacked. I left feeling disappointed in myself and moped. Then the next morning it occurred to me that maybe the best place to start with equanimity is in the realization that I lack it. Maybe seeing it for what it was rather than engaging in self-degrading talk would be a good start for establishing some equanimity in my life. So here's my start: I see that I will benefit from working on equanimity. It is what it is.
A little over a week ago, I made the difficult decision to put my dog down. It was difficult for the obvious reason: no one wants to say goodbye to a beloved pet. But on top of that, I felt in some way that I had betrayed him by taking him to his death. Logically, I know I did the right thing by him. Emotionally, I feel like Brutus. There is more to the story, but I'll spare you all the details that will surely mean more to me than to you.
While some people have monkey mind, the mind that jumps from thought to thought, for about a week I had monkey life. I made feeble attempts at resisting my grief and guilt. For three days, I spun my wheels until they almost feel off, dreading the quiet that did not fail to bring me to my knees. I did not meditate for a week, knowing that a quiet moment alone with my thoughts would involve lots of crying. I panicked and pushed myself to fatigue.
And here's where the equanimity, or lack thereof, comes into play. When the sangha talked about equanimity last week, it became clear to me that I had not handled his death with any kind of equanimity.
This kind of surprised me. A few months ago, my dad warned me about my dog's health and how I would have to make that hard decision sooner than later. I shrugged, assured him I was aware of that fact, and moved on. I almost felt guilty that the thought didn't make me feel sad. I knew my dog had lived a long life of sixteen years, and although I do not know what his first seven were like, I do know that the last nine have been pretty kosh.
So when the grief of saying goodbye to my dog doubled me over and sent me into a whirlwind of frantic attempts at escaping emotion coupled with bouts of sobbing, I was a little taken aback.
Equanimous, foschwamanous. I was, quite simply, a mess.
Monday night, we talked about equanimity, and I realized how much I clearly lacked. I left feeling disappointed in myself and moped. Then the next morning it occurred to me that maybe the best place to start with equanimity is in the realization that I lack it. Maybe seeing it for what it was rather than engaging in self-degrading talk would be a good start for establishing some equanimity in my life. So here's my start: I see that I will benefit from working on equanimity. It is what it is.
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