A Few Deep Breaths

I read an email today from someone who had judged senior projects in which she lamented the quality of grammar in students' portfolios and asked if we are really graduating students who "who cannot reliably write grammatical sentences." 

Now, first of all, I feel compelled to say that I am open to hearing what people have to say about what they see in our seniors' work, and at that same time, I expect that it be balanced and not solely criticism. We know we have areas to work on; we also know there are a lot of strengths to what our students produce. I say that because I don't want people to feel they can't dialogue openly with me.

But with that having been said, I am going to drop her comment, even though I have a lot I could say. But as my day is winding down, I am not pleased the I am focusing my energies on such a short - albeit negative - moment of an otherwise wonderful day. So for that reason, I am going to end my day with a list of ten things that made me happy today:

1. I was able to give blood today. This made me happy because my iron is often one silly little point below the cutoff. It also made me happy because, as a baby blood donor, I get treated like a very special person when I walk through the doors of United Blood Services. Case in point: today I was told today I was "a very special person." Who wouldn't love that?
2. While donating blood, I had fifteen lovely minutes of quiet time to myself.
3. At The Salvation Army store, I found three - count them THREE, pair of pants for my son. As a boy who loves to play with trains, he wears out the knees of all his pants, so much so that patching doesn't do any good. So I am always looking for pants that will fit him for a reasonable price.
4. My students made me laugh today - a lot.
5. My students wrote very sweet things in their letters to next year's seniors.
6. After they took a shower, I got to sit with my kids for over a half an hour reading an Ivy and Bean book. This especially pleased me because Ivy and Bean are chapter books for girls, but my son was still happy to sit quietly in my lap and listen to the story about two girls getting themselves trapped in a crawl space.
7. The Senior Project Committee chose the recipients of our senior project awards. Some very deserving -- and probably unsuspecting students -- will be receiving these awards next week.
8. We had a nice family dinner tonight. It's simple. We do it every night with a few exceptions, but I feel lucky to have my two kids and my husband at my dinner table with me every night.
9. My kids cleared the table, took out the recycling, and cleaned up the living room. 'Nuff said.
10. In a few moments, I will be reading another chapter from Tina Fey's book Bossypants. This book isn't for everyone. You have to like her sense of humor. If you do, this book will make you laugh out loud - literally.

So, yeah. I guess I have become a little bit of a Pollyanna lately, as someone mentioned the other day. But as I am learning to let things go, I am increasing my capacity for happiness and making life better for those around me.

Cheers to the little things like a blood donation appointment and a chapter book!

A few more prompts

Next prompt:  Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? (Author: Kaileen Elise)


For 2010 I wanted to try a picture a day for a year. I made it all the way through August, but then I could not stomach the idea of sitting in front of a computer and editing and uploading pictures. With an online master's, your participation and even your textbook reading all take place online. I got really sick of the computer. But I do not regret my decision to stop the project. There will be other opportunities.

For 2011, I want to try to simplify my life. That's why I put the photo of the stop sign up: I want to remember to STOP and think before I act, to stop buying and to stop taking on extra responsibilities.


I am ready for this - I spent the last month not shopping at all, and I have truly enjoyed it. I can honestly say that this time around, I did not feel the urge to buy anything. In the past, I limited my purpose to environmental issues mostly, so I could buy digital items and services. This time, I looked at environmental issues, financial benefits, and attachement issues. I found it refreshing to not buy anything but groceries. I didn't even miss the almost daily latte and have instead learned to appreciate a good cup of loose leaf tea. And I appreciated more of my attentions being diverted from things to activities and people.

Partly what helped make this easy for me is that my husband decided to join me this time around. Having the most important people in your life onboard with these kinds of decisions is so incredibly helpful.

Another thing I want to try in 2011 is a residential retreat. I am not sure I will be able to fit it in with all the other traveling I have scheduled, but I am certainly going to look into it.

Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author: Leonie Allan)


I had some great down time this summer. Reading especially helped heal me. Because I read so much for work, it was especially nice to revisit the concept of pleasure reading. I read Shantaram, which I loved, as well as some cheesy mysteries. For my trip to Dallas, I am taking The Book Thief. I am terrified of flying, which is always allayed by a good, gripping read.

This "healing" was a slow process, but as the summer unfolded, I become more enthusiastic about everything.

For 2011, I would like to be energized by my travels and by having some free time. As I mentioned before, I am putting my master's on hold starting in a few weeks, and because I am no longer department chair, I have less work to carry home at night. Consequently, I hope to have some more time to play - to hang out with my kids, to cook, to read, to craft, and to meditate.

Ethical Shopping

On top of trying to shop in an environmentally friendly manner, I am also trying to shop in a more human friendly manner. For me, this means shopping for fair trade products or products that are made in the U.S. and therefore under strong labor laws.

Well, I haven't been shopping at all, but I have been browsing online, trying to find stores that sell fair trade products. It isn't as easy I expected. I mean, I could buy this or these, but neither suit my style.

But I finally found a store that has what they call "organic, eco-friendly, and fair trade fashion" all for a relatively reasonable price, especially when you shop the sales. Where can you enjoy "organic, eco-friendly, and fair trade fashion," you ask? It's called Fair Indigo. Check it out.

» Consumerism vs. minimalism | mnmlist.com

On the mnmlist web page, the author has written an article on how to be more minimalist in your approach to shopping. I like his ideas:

» Consumerism vs. minimalism mnmlist.com:

"Learn to be more conscious of my impulses when I'm ready to buy something."
For the first few months of no shopping, I found myself accidentally paying for impulse buys before I realized that it conflicted with my resolution. The more often I practice low impact months, the easier it becomes to avoid impulse purchases.

"Learn to pause, and to breathe, to let the physical desire wane."
Being mindful of the physical sensations I get from shopping not only allow me to make more appropriate shopping choices, but it also is a practice in everyday mindfulness and awareness of the body. I get lots of benefits from being aware of the thrill I get from shopping. Before I started this, I wasn't even aware that I got any thrill from shopping.

"Force myself to wait, if the purchase isn't an absolute necessity."
That's what my entire month forces me to do. It's amazing how much I think I need when I am in the store and seeing color and shape. At home, it doesn't seem so necessary.

"Let myself think about it, and analyze whether it's something I really need to buy. Often the answer is no. "
I am still working on this.

"Slowly improve upon this, over time, as I always make mistakes."
One of my newer mottos is to cut everyone, myself included, some slack.

So which of these quotes most speaks to you?

Acquisition Versus Living

I have been reading a lot about consumption patterns, simplifying, and intentions. Recently, I stumbled upon the following quote from Zen Habits:

How to Want Very Little: "What you need to do is learn to get lost in activities rather than acquisition. Instead of being strung along by the latest gizmo, learn to transplant that process into an outlet such as writing, music or drawing. Focus on doing interesting things rather than buying interesting things."

It is true that most Americans easily get lost in acquisition. I see it in my own family on a regular basis. It isn't that we even want the item so much as we want the high we get when we acquire something new. You can read about this in the book Hooked!: Buddhist Writing on Greed, Desire and the Urge to Consume.

In the communities surrounding both of my hobbies, stashing is encouraged. "Stashing," it should be noted, is nothing but a euphemism for hoarding. In the sewing world, we encourage one another to stash (hoard) fabric; in the paper crafting world, we encourage one another to stash (hoard) paper and embellishments. I found myself spending more time shopping for fabric, patterns, books and crafting items than I was spending time on the actual crafts themselves. Completely ridiculous, really, but it was my pattern. My low-impact months have taught me to spend less time in the crafting stores, more time in my crafting space doing crafts. More time with my kids, less time shopping for them. More time reading less time in Borders.

I know you're probably thinking that I have stated the obvious, but when you mindlessly go about life, you miss the obvious, which is why I think committing to a month of no shopping is a worthy endeavor. It forces mindfulness.

So that is my goal for this low-impact month - to really focus on doing more things I enjoy and less time in stores.

Happy new year!

2009 shopping

I am still following Gwenn Bell's Best of 2009 blog prompts. Today's is shopping - where did you spend most of your money? I hate to say it, even though I work very hard to nix the Starbucks habit during my low-impact months, I always end up working my way back to regular Starbucks lattes. It's not a daily habit, but it's pretty darn close.

My coffee addiction doesn't really bother me; however, not only is Starbucks a waste of money, but it's also a garbage-producing machine. Think about all those green and white (or red this time of year) cups that fill our landfills because of people like me.

Still, there's something very comforting about sitting at my desk at work or on the couch while I'm reading to my kids or at my computer desk while holding a nice, hot latte.

I read about this study where they told people they were coming in for a survey. At the elevator entrance, they had a girl standing with a clipboard who took their names and basic demographic information before they were to head upstairs to the actual study. Unbeknownst to the participants, the study was actually taking place there. For half the people, she held a hot drink and would ask them to hold it while she wrote down information. The other half were asked to hold her cold drink. Once upstairs, they were asked what they thought about the person at the elevator - was she friendly, warm, outgoing, etc.? Those who were asked to hold the hot cup were much more like to see her as a friendly, outgoing and caring person than those who held the cold cups thought she was.

That study resonated with me because I really feel more calm and in a weird way kind of safe when I hold a hot cup in my hands. It's as much about the experience as it is about the taste or the caffeine. That's why the travel mugs don't really cut it - because they insulate too well.

Lots of silly rationalization for my sloppy habit. That's what blogging is all about, right?

The Laugh's On Me

So much for my plan of avoiding any kind of consumption. Today I realized Sawyer only has three pair of shorts, and one pair is at my mom's. So I broke my own rule, but not completely: I went shopping at the OARC thrift store. (Note to self: Always hit OARC first .They're prices are amazing. I bought a pair of shorts for Sawyer and a coloring book for a total of 35 cents. Huzzah! Similar shorts were 3.50 at Goodwill.)

Later the entire family and I went to Goodwill for some more shopping. I found a pair of shorts for Sawyer, which was the whole point. But I have trouble resisting deals and definitely experienced that clinging feeling. I wanted the salad plates, the tote bag, and the movie (in a medium we don't even own anymore). Even a thrift store brings out my desire to acquire. However, that feeling I get from acquiring only lasts for a short while, promptly leading to more acquiring. It's like an addiction and one that is encouraged every time I turn on the TV, walk into a store, drive past a billboard or listen to the radio.

My one success: I REALLY wanted a latte and not a home-brewed latte. I even got into my car to drive to Starbucks . . . and then got out of the car and walked hangdoggedly back into the house and brewed a mediocre iced latte.

Total non sequitur: I started getting chest pains on the way to Goodwill. I am pretty sure it's heartburn because what I read says that if when you lay down it gets worse, it's probably GI related. It was pretty painful and scary, and no, I did not go to the hospital like I know I should have. But I'm sitting here now and not feeling any pain, so all is well.

It's Happening Again/Hoarding (be careful how you read that)

I am not receiving emails. Harumph! So if any of you have sent me an email that I haven't responded to, let me know.

My low-impact commitment slid a little last week. I ate fast food three days in a row. (gasp!) I was with friends two of the days and therefore not the only one deciding where we were going, but that's not really an excuse.

I went shopping, but at garage sales. I bought some clothes for DD (four pieces for a total of a buck, not bad, huh?), a mojito set (so NOT needed), and some Nalgene bottles (helpful, not needed).

Although shopping at garage sales does fall under the allowed list, it isn't helping me stop clinging to the process of acquisition, which is what I think is behind the problem. Cure the symptoms or cure the underlying illness?

I am a typical American girl. As a teenager, many weekends were spent shopping. It was a past time. This hobby slowed some while I was in college and I couldn't afford it.

Then I had a colicky baby who liked to be out and about, and I desperately needed to get out of the house. We did a lot of window shopping.

Ok. So often the "window shopping" turned into "cash register shopping."

Fast forward five years, and you'd see I have a house packed full of stuff. Not like those people you see on Oprah where you they have stuff piled so high they have to dig hallways for themselves. They call it hoarder's syndrome. But I have too much stuff and no where to put it.

If you ask me, this entire country has hoarder's syndrome. I'm not being judgemental. I can't because I'm right there with the rest of the country. But I am trying to slowly make a difference in my patterns of shopping and hopefully my children's too.

Originally my plan was to be more environmentally conscience. Then I read Hooked, the book of Buddhist writings on the need to consume, and I realized that my problem was that I am addicted to the process of acquisition.

So maybe garage sale shopping it not such a good idea.

I did make some cloth napkins and am making more. DD loves to use them.

The Test

I'm not a big shopper like some women I know. I don't really enjoy clothes and housewares shopping. Clothes drive me crazy - most don't look good on me, require dry cleaning, and/or cost way more than they should. I find it more frustrating than fun. Housewares just seem like a boring necessity.

But I am a shopper of a different kind. I like to shop for crafting items. Today I am accompanying a friend to a craft store for a sale they're having. My rule is no purchasing of anything outside of groceries, which means I can't buy anything.

This is like an alcoholic going to a bar with his friends on Friday night.

But since much of what I'm trying to do is stop grasping, I think this could be a good practice for me.

Peace and happiness to all.