10 Goofy Things My Son Does

1. The words frog and foot come out sounding like fuck. It's a lot of fun when you're out in public and he starts pointing and yelling, "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"



2. We count the stairs when we're going up or down. He likes to count on his own now. Five is his favorite number: two, FIIIIIIVE, sick, FIIIIIIVE, one, FIIIIVE.


3. He loves to straddle and sit on the dog. Fortunately, he's gentle, and so is the dog.


4. He likes to carry a spoon around. Couple that with his obsession with his pacifier and his blankie, and you've got a boy with busy hands.


5. His dancing looks like fast squats. It's as if you are watching an '80s aerobics video in fastforward mode.


6. He slowly crawls his way up the stairs as if delaying his own torture. But if you take his blankie and throw it upstairs, that slow crawl turns into an impressive scurry.


7. He loves to say goodbye to things, as well as people. When we left McDonald's the other day, he said goodbye to the table, the bench, each slide, the play ground in general, and the pile of dirt on the floor that he kept rubbing his feet in.


8. He wakes up in the middle of the night screaming. (Man! That's a hoot!)


9. He loves to turn off fans, which frustrates my husband to no end.
10. He says Ahhhh! whenever he hugs someone.