Clinging

So I found myself clinging today. I broke my camera, spilled coffee on it yesterday. On the advice of a friend and a student - both more technologically savvy than yours truly, I let the camera sit over night to see if drying would help. Much to my dismay, my camera is still not working.

I was very sad. I love to take pictures of my students as they come out of their senior project panels. And I LOVE to take ridiculous amounts of pictures of my two babies. Once I realized my camera wasn't working, I noticed the tell-tale signs of clinging: desperately wanting a fix, teary eyes, knotty tummy. I reminded myself of the clinging and the importance of letting go.

But I think I was clinging more to the hope that my DH wouldn't have to hear me tell him for the second time in two years that I had ruined a camera by spilling a liquid on it. I am clinging more to my desire to not have an irritated husband than anything else. Guess I'll just have to trust that he'll still love me.

Now the question remains: do I buy myself another camera or do I go without and miss the beautiful pictures of my children, my friends, my family and my students? It's so easy to justify possession in the name of something more grand. Loosening the grip on the things we believe we deserve in life is not so easy.

Hmm.......