Dental Rules (Rant Warning)

I propose a set of my own Dental Patient Rights:

• Patients should never, EVER be allowed to leave the exam room with blood on their faces. It's bad enough that you have to leave the exam room tired, numb, drooling, sore, and swollen, but then in your car you realize that you have been talking to the receptionist and walking past other patients all the while with blood splattered on your face. That just isn't dignified.
• If we're going to be in the dental chair for 4 1/2 hours, let us know early on so that when hour three roles around, we don't think something must be terribly wrong.
• Anything that can be discussed before dental work begins, should be discussed before dental work begins. It's so much fun talking to the billing receptionist when you're drooling (and have blood splattered on your face).
• Finish our dental work before the Novocaine dissipates. This is vital.
• Change the smell of your office. Just a whiff of that dental office smell sends me into a neurotic anxiety attack. Make it smell like chocolate. I'll either come to the dentist's more often or lose weight (since it may make me run at the scent of chocolate). Either way I'm better off.
• Stop charging us over $1000 for something so small it could fit into an elf's pocket.
• Give me Valium. (Okay, I don't really need this, but the idea is dreamy.)
• Better yet, give me anaesthesia.