Continuing with Reverb

I am continuing with my Reverb 2011. I am not trying to "catch up" because I am learning the pleasure of enjoying the process and not obsessing with a finish line. I may not complete another Reverb 2011 post, and that's okay.Then again, I may finish it by the end of the day tomorrow. No goals, no objective, just settling into what happens.

So, on to it.

Prompt #6: What was most difficult about 2011?

Definitely the family illness. My heart is broken. I am sad. That's all I really have to say about it right now.

Prompt #7: What lessons did you learn?

I like this question because I usually write about experiences as they happen; however, the real lesson often waits to reveal itself until the experience is over.

In 2011, I learned I do have a voice about education, not just as a teacher of the year, but as a teacher within my own community and my own school.

I learned that it is okay to experience moments of joy even when others are suffering.

I learned that educators at the national level who are making policy, developing standards, and establishing the tenor of the broader discussions regarding education are often condescending toward educators and completely niave to what actually happens in schools. I also learned that they really don't want to hear what educators, even a roomful of state teachers of the year, have to say about how to improve education. This realiziation was one of the more frustrating parts of this year.

I learned that life is unpredictable and at times fragile and that any one of us could die tomorrow. Intellectually, I always understood this to be true, but understanding it at a deeper level is a different story.

On a more superficial level, I learned how to better operate my SMARTboard, how to create mini books with damaged hardbound novels and jump rings, how to use Poll Anywhere as a teaching device, how to use use a blog reader on my phone, and how to more effectively train a dog.

Prompt #8: When were you proud?

When my son started to read.

When I read my daughter's stories. For an eight-year-old, she is incredibly creative and sophisticated.

When I left space camp.

When my vice principal stood up in front of the staff and lauded our efforts,

When the staff came together to study data and reseach ways to improve our school.

When my husband won the chili cookoff at school.

Prompt #9: Who or what inspired you?

My friends in Dharma Zephyr always inspire me to live more wisely and ethically and to study the Dharma.

My TOY classmates inspired me, as did my husband and Milton Chen, to be a better teacher, to think about creative ways to balance rigor, appropriate curriculum, and engagement strategies.

Every single day, my children and my students inspire me to find ways to be a better person, to be more compassionate.

Prompt #10: How do you fill the void?

What void?

Returning from No-Man's Land

I had to take a break from blogging. Sometimes life hits with you things that color everything you do and every thought you have. This happened to me recently, but because the issue was about the health of a family member whom I am not sure wants readers in blogland to know what's going on, I decided it would be best to stay quiet. I am feeling the desire to return blogging, so here I am.

What better way to return to blogging than with a review of 2011? The last couple years, I have participated in Gwen Bell's Reverb project, but since she has passed along the project to those willing to carry on the legacy, I am now going to jump in on The Mod Chik's Reverb 2011.

The first few weeks of December are always crazy for us: finals, end of the semester, Christmas shopping, Christmas festivities, baking, etc.  So projects like Reverb have to wait until the holiday break starts. I am starting with Day 1 on Day 21, but whatev, as the kids say.

Prompt #1: Describe 2011 in one word.

Contradictory. I have blogged about this before, but while some of the most exciting things happened for me professionally and personally, I witnessed too many people around me suffering. Then in November, bad news hit closer to home. And then again with another family member. While this has been one of the best years of my life, it has also be one of the saddest.

#2: What would you do if you had more time?

Easy - spend more time with my kids, more time meditating, and more time crafting.


#3: What projects did you start?

• Returned to my master's
• A week-in-the-life scrapbook for my family - LOVED it, by the way. I will post on my crafting blog one of these days
• A process toward simplifying
• A December Daily album, inspired by Ali Edwards

At work, I helped the goddess of all things accreditation - our accreditation chair person - roll out the accreditation process. It's nice to support a leader and not necessary lead. It's also challenging for me, someone who is used to always being in the lead position. I have to remember that there is more than one way to accomplish a task.

Mostly, I tried to keep projects to a minimum, which is difficult for me, a project lover.


#4: What projects did you finish? 

• My master's won't be done until August
• I finished the week-in-the-life-album
• Simplifying - since I am not Thoreau, I will probably never reach the ultimate of simplicity, but I am happy with the progress I made.
• The December Daily is still a work in progress

#5: What was the highlight of 2011?

Hands-down - meeting the president.

Well, that's enough blogging for today. It feels good to write something not related to curriculum development and the school improvement process.

Hope December is treating you grandly. I know all of my readers will remember that this is a time to share with those we love and those in need.

Happy holidays.

Thankful Veteran's Day

I am grateful for many things today :

1. Time with my family

2. A day to wear sweats and rest and fight off a cold

3. The general safety of my country

4. The sacrifices of our military service personnel

5. And the sacrifices of their families

6. Living in a free country

7. Cough drops

8. Signs that my son is getting better, not worse

9. 10 hours of sleep last night

10. Home fried potatoes for breakfast

Thankful

Coming down with you cold, so I'm going to dive right in. I am thankful for:

1. My students' enthusiasm for card making today (and their general good-naturedness)

2. The many men and women of the armed services who do jobs I would never want to do

3. My MIL for picking up my sick boy from day care

4. My son's good spirits despite a seemingly constant cough

5. The promise of sleep

6. Mac-n-cheese

7. Starbucks gift cards

8. My husband for putting dinner on the table almost every single night

9. Three-day weekends

10. Sweat pants

Thankful Crafting

Today, my students are creating cards to say thank you to our veterans and our service men and women. As I gathered supplies for this project, I got to thinking about all the craftiness that makes me happy and for which I am grateful:

• Glitter
• Patterened paper
• Acrylic paint
• Glitter
• Cute stamps - especially of bicycles or owls or trees
• Glue - because nothing is more fun that cutting and gluing (or so thinks my son)
• Glitter
• Adhesive-backed rhinestones
• Ribbon
• Glitter
• Embossing powder
• My new Cuttlebug
• Glitter
• My Cricut
• Paper flowers - I used to use them on every project

Did I mention glitter? All these things bring energy and fun into my life. Yes, they are just things, but they are FUN things, are they not?

What makes your day glitter?

A Thankful Reminder to Self: You Got It Good

Lately I have been thinking about responsible shopping, which got me thinking about from where my things originate, which got me thinking about disparities inside  the world, which got me thinking about all that I have that mothers in many countries don't. Most of it pertains to the relative certainty of my life. Nothing in life is completely certain, but it is true that my life breeds fewer questions than it might had I been born elsewhere.

For these reasons, I am dedicating today's thank-full post to the questions I don't have to ask:

~ Will we have clean water tomorrow?

~ Will we have food on the table?

~ Will my daughter get to attend school?

~ Will my children have the freedom to choose their faith?

~ Will my daughter never have to engage in prostitution for survival?

~ Will my children work as slaves?

~ Will my husband have to go to war?

~ Will we have access to medical care?

~ Will my children be allowed to participate in their political system?

~ Will they have the freedom to speak their minds?

What questions do you not have to ask?

Grateful Monday

Today I am grateful for the following:

*  My big news: I am going to China!

*  Hot mint tea

*  Antibiotics for my doggy's ear infection

*  A daughter who is feeling better

*  My new tote bag for work

*  My parents for watching my sick kid

*  The promise of sleep tonight without a dog who is up with a sore ear every hour

*  Dharma Zephyr

*  Central heating

*  Roasted pine nuts from my mom

*  My school's new vice principal for his tact and diplomacy

Are you thankful?

Thankful Snowy Sunday

1) A warm bed

2) Finished plans for my boy's birthday party

3) Happy children

4) Breakfast out with the family (a rare occurrence)

5) My iPod and podcasts

6) An extra hour to tackle my to-do list

7) Albuterol for my sick girl's lungs

8) My parents

9) Yummy Cracker Box omelets

10) My husband for splitting an omelet with me

Thankful Birthday

Another post for Thankful November.

1) A great 41st birthday

2) A productive day

3) A lovely dinner courtesy of my mom: barbecued lamb chops with cranberry sauce and pine nuts; vegetable rice; salad with pears, apples, and blue cheese crumbled on top; my brother's homemade sourdough bread with peach chutney; wine; and spring cake

4) Fun presents: a briefcase, a Cuttlebug with dry embossing cartridges, a journaling book, and a case of various colors of glitter

5) Afternoon naps

6) Afternoon double-tall lattes with an Equal

7) Reading Matilda with Roz

8) The health of my family

9) Playing matchbox cars and stamping with Sawyer

10) Layers of blankets on my bed

Do any of these strike a chord with you?

Thankful Friday

So many things to be thankful for today:

1. Hope for the possibility that a later school start time might actually happen

2. A great meeting to end my work week

3. A dog that seems fine without the pain meds I forgot to give him this morning

4. A full weekend ahead of me to spend with my family

5. My husband for taking my daughter to the doctor so I could attend my meeting

6. Stimulating conversation with colleagues

7. The cute, glittery and buttony picture of a fish my son made

8. My mother-in-law for watching a sick kid for us today

9. A shopping trip at the scrapbooking store with my girl

10. The Sierra Nevada beer that awaits

Blog Your Heart Challenge and Thankful November

One of my favorite blogs is Just Me, My Soldier and our 4 Little Chicks written by the sweet, funny and crafty Stephanie Howell. She has put forth a challenge to other bloggers to "blog your heart," a challenge to blog what's honest, what's real, what's in your heart. And me, I am never one to turn away from a blogging challenge, so here goes:

• I am tired. A lot. It's not my iron level or my thyroid or my blood sugars. At least I don't think so. It's life and not enough quiet time and lack of sleep and too little play. When I first started attending Dharma Zephyr, I had trouble understanding how people could fall asleep while meditating with the group. Now I fight the nods every single week. It's miserable.
• I am buried in paper. At work. On my desk at home. In my craft room. And I hate it. It gives me the shivers. I should put in effort to fix this problem, but I'm tired. (See #1.)
• Recently, my uncle passed away, furthering my desire to connect more with my extended family, to reach out to them, but I haven't. (See #1.)
• I have slowly started losing touch with the outside world. Two years ago, I read the paper cover to cover daily and Newsweek and Time every week. I followed politics (maybe too much). I was in touch. Not so much anymore. We quit Time, and I haven't even opened the last four issues of Newsweek. And you know what? I don't really care. (See #1.)
• I do, however, read crafting blogs and humor blogs and parenting blogs and educational blogs and psychology blogs and dharma blogs. On my phone. Before bed. When I should be sleeping. (See #1.) And I love it.

For this month, I want to focus on that which I feel gratitude for. Here are today's thankful November items:

1. A patient co-teacher
2. Watching Sean the Sheep with the whole family tonight
3. Spending yesterday doing puzzles with Sawyer
4. My parents and Jason's mom for taking care of Roz after school this week
5. My own courage to speak face-to-face with a higher up about what has been really bothering me
6. My higher up for his open-door policy and his ear and his calm demeanor as we disagreed
7. Photoshop Elements for finally running (even though it promptly crashed - at least it was running)
8. Spaghetti for dinner two nights in one week!
9. Time to create a syllabus for my seniors
10. Roz and Sawyer's pictures that they drew for me and their dad
11. A new dentist who didn't make me want to bolt out of the office and who understood all the concerns about my previous dentist. (That's a-whole-nother blog post.)

What are you thankful for?

Thankful November: try again

Sorry about that last post. I can't delete with this app. Anyway, ten things for which I am grateful:

1. The health of my family

2. The warmth of my dog curled up next to me

3. Everything my husband does around the house

4. Dharma Zephyr

5. Holidays

6. Being 40

7. Health insurance

8. Graphjams making me laugh

9. My colleagues

10. Time to read with my kids

Thankful November

There are many things to be thankful for. Here are ten of mine.

Random List of Things That Make Me Happy

1. The softness of a new sweatshirt
2. Reading with my kids
3. Enjoying Roz's sense of humor
4. Baked potatoes with real butter and sour cream
5. Students saying they like the book we're reading in class
6. A child's excitement for Halloween
7. A good cup of coffee
8. Dharma talks with friends
9. Students excited about their senior projects
10. Eskimo kisses

That Girl

Last week, I posted about how I have changed as I have aged. This got me thinking about how I have not changed. Meanwhile, a post at Me, My Soldier and Our Four Little Chicks, inspired me to write this:

I am still that girl who

• Feels awkward at parties
• Plays the car stereo way too loud
• Eats too fast
• Loves a good book and a hot drink
• Will constantly pan the horizon for bears and mountain lions when hiking
• Loves dogs
• Is convinced her butt takes up 50% of the space in any given room
• Shops too much
• Feels complete, uncontrollable rage about how unfair life can be
• Talks way too much and too fast and interrupts others
• Wakes up terrified in the middle of the night
• Walks like an elephant
• Cries easily
• Loves hugs whenever, from whomever
• Wants to fit in
• Yet dislikes almost anything mainstream
• Would rather hotel it than tent it
• Questions herself far too often
• Loves to nap, color, and creative playtime
• Digs all things funny

As I Age . . .

I am rounding out my 40th year. I know for many, this age is disconcerting, but it hasn't been for me. In fact, I have very much enjoyed this year. I guess I see myself kind of like a bottle of really good Cabernet. I improve with age. However, the aging process has caused some reflection on my part.*

As this year comes to a close and the big four-one draws nearer, I have been thinking about how I have changed as I have gotten older.

• I care less about how I look and especially how much I weigh. That might not always be a good thing.
• I care more about what I do with my mind. I don't mean intellectually. I am more mindful not only about my actions but about my thoughts as well.
• I love my hometown more and more every year. I used to mumble if people asked me if I was a Native Nevadan, but not anymore. I feel more tied to my school as well.
• I am happier. For a variety of reasons. One is that I have creative outlets that in my twenties I didn't have (it's amazing what some patterned paper and some ink can do for a girl). Another is that I have more love in my life. I have children and a husband whom I adore and some good, solid friendships.
• Because I am more financially secure, I feel more . . . well . . . secure. I don't have to stress over every Hero Arts stamp I buy or order only appetizers and water when I go out with friends. Money does buy a certain freedom from stress.
• I become increasingly curious about my heritage. I haven't started digging through the books of the Mormon church yet (yes, my maternal grandmother was raised Mormon), but I am asking more questions about my family and wanting to write down the stories I do remember, such as my great uncle having to tie his horse every morning at school or my Grandma Laird's memory of walking home and seeing a fire in the distance, only to discover that it was her own house on fire and that her mother was dead.
• My requirements for a car have changed drastically. I now want **gasp** a minivan. Yes, a soul-killing, mojo-depleting minivan. But it will mean I can fit my kids and their friends in it. I can't even fit three booster seats in the back of my car. And I would do anything for a GPS device (though that's not a sign of me changing - I have always been directionally impaired. I still get lost right here in the town I grew up in. Just this Saturday I got lost taking my son to a birthday party).
• I care less about what people think of me, though I am not going to lie - there are still days I am that sixteen-year-old girl feeling the need to please others. Still, the desire to please diminishes every year, and oddly, the more that happens, the kinder I become. And I do things others think I shouldn't, like talk about the "shit fields" with my students or let them use their phones to send me messages via Poll Everywhere's web site during class. If it works educationally, I am doing it.

This makes me wonder, how have you changed as you've aged?

Me in 2004 with the hubby and the first-born.

Me in 2011 with the teachers from Oklahoma and Hawaii.

*What am I saying? EVERYTHING causes reflection on my part. I live my life in reflection mode. But that's a beside the point.

What If . . .?

I have been wondering about education lately, wondering what would happen if we gave up clinging to our current methods of doing things.

• What if grade levels were based on competency and not age?
• What if we allowed students to move ahead grade levels?
• What if all students actually read for pleasure?
• What if all parents valued education?
• What if no parent ever lied to the school to help her child escape a consequence?
• What if every parent regularly read to his children?
• What if decisions came from teachers, the people on the front lines of teaching, rather than from distant lawmakers or administrators?
• What if professional development was differentiated - each teacher researching a subject directly related to his/her teaching assignment?
• What if every teacher received training on current brain research?
• What if we included mindfulness practices as part of our daily routine?
• What if all children got enough sleep and enough to eat?
• What if every parent volunteered in his child's school on a regular basis?
• What if teachers were valued as respected professionals the way we value doctors and lawyers?
• What if the public understood that education was about more than being able to read a driver's license manual or make change from a $20 bill?
• What if all teachers made an effort to make learning interesting and cooperative?
• What if all students put half the effort into learning that they put into their sports or their video games?

What's your what if?

Ten Things I Learned About Parenting from Doggie Obedience School

Our puppy Shadow is a proud graduate of puppy kindergarten. (And for the record, if you are in the Carson City area and need a good trainer, I highly recommend Joanna from Fur and Feather Works.) After every Saturday class, one thought that kept coming to mind: I should really work harder at applying dog-training concepts to parenting. Here are some things I learned:

1. Never repeat your command to your kid dog . If you repeat your command, you tell your kid dog that he doesn't have to listen the first time around. 
2. Yelling and violence are not necessary. Now, for the record, I don't use violence with my kids or dog, but I will be the first to admit that sometimes I get really frustrated and yell. What Joanna taught me is that dogs don't choose the alpha dog based on strength or willpower, but rather from a sense of dignity and respect for one's elders. Respect is earned, not forced.
3. If you scream in anger for your kid dog to come, you're out of your mind. Why would my kid dog come to me when I am screaming in anger?
4. Conversely, make the come command fun. If I want my kid dog to come to me, I need to say come here in such an enthusiastic way that the kid dog can expect nothing less than pure joy when he gets to me. Of course, this is training. Eventually, you can request his presence with a stronger tone, but for training purposes, be happy.
5. Patience is key. You don't teach a kid dog to rollover in a day.
6. Nothing is permanent. My kid dog may be going through a wake-constantly-in-the-middle-of-the-night stage or a chew-everything-in-sight stage, but it's all a stage. Again, patience is key.
7. Socialization at a young age is important. If my kid dog doesn't get kid dog time early on, he will have lots of difficulty learning how to play nicely.
8. When in doubt, throw treats at your kid dog. Okay, out of context, this sounds strange, but my dog has agoraphobia, and I am learning that giving him treats when we are out on a walk will help him associate things that might scare him with things that make him happy, happy, happy. 
9. Wear them out. My kid dog needs to chase a laser pointer light, go on walks, and chase balls. A tired kid dog is a happy kid dog.
10. Every kid dog needs intellectual stimulation. A tired brain is a happy brain. We play hide-and-go-puppy, as my son calls it. That wears both dog and boy out.



A happy dog.

Our family right now

Thought I would toss out a family update:

Right now, Jason is back to school teaching all A.P. classes. He works hard at school and then picks up the kids, gets Roz going on homework and piano practice, and cooks dinner. On the weekends, he does the grocery shopping (at Costco, Trader Joe's and then maybe the regular grocery store) and often much of the cleaning. In short, he is working his butt off and functioning as the primary parent. I greatly appreciate everything he does, and at the same time, I hope to step in and do more of it as soon as things settle. He is also brainstorming topics for his master's thesis. As always he makes me laugh constantly.

Right now, Roz is back to school in the third grade. We love her teacher. So far, the GATE program hasn't made much difference, but we are hoping it will provide some enrichment for her. She hates homework with a passion, which concerns us. Hating homework at this age doesn't bode well for the teen years. She does passionately love reading, however. Swim lessons are on hiatus, and we are trying to decide if we will enroll her in art classes or karate. It's tricky - finding that balance between being appropriately stimulated and over-scheduled. Her favorite color has moved from rainbow to turquoise to purple, and she stills puts together some pretty crazy fashions. Often, she will disappear into her room to draw pictures and write stories.

Right now, Sawyer is in preschool and loves it. His teacher tells us repeatedly how sweet and easy he is. He loves to play with the dog and is into superheroes. His moving away from his train obsession makes his daddy happy and his mommy sad. As he always has been, he is a boy of routine. For example, he gets up every morning at 6 a.m., regardless of the day of the week, and immediately gets his fiber bar and eats it. He then plays for a while and then asks for an egg or a bowl of cereal.


Right now, I am heading off to my last CCSSO trip as teacher of the year. I am excited about a trip to New Jersey and New York, and although I am sad to say goodbye to my friends, I am looking forward to being more focused on my homelife and my plan to go on a residential retreat next year. (Yay!) I am no longer teaching A.P. classes and have replaced those classes with remedial English I, including one co-taught section. It's a stretch for me, but it has been a good stretch. I still teacher Senior Rhetoric, which I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. My creative outlet lately has been cardmaking, since I can have a finished product in about in fifteen minutes. I am trying to cut back on responsibilities at work.

Right now, Shadow has learned sit, down, stay, off, and leave it. We are working on come, and in case you are a stalker considering breaking into our house, we are training him on eat the nose off that guy. He doesn't jump on the kids as much, and I spend much of my home time trying to find ways to channel his lab energy, especially since walks make him nervous and he doesn't chase balls. We have found some good lab activities, like chase the red laser dot and walk four houses before you panic and try to run home.




That's the family Right Now update. Hope everyone is enjoying the cooler weather.

On the anniversary of September 11

As I sit down to write my thoughts about this day, I feel paralyzed. It somehow seems frivolous, almost disrespectful, to write about September 11, as if words on a blog cannot quite capture the emotions, the enormity of the event.

Many around me see today as just another day.

Not me.

While I stood there and watched in real time as a plane hit the second tower, I knew that something previously unthinkable had happened, and even though I didn't know exactly what had happened, I knew my world would change. As the day's events unfolded and we watched as victims jumped to their deaths and the towers collapsed and later the mass debris enveloped the city, we all mourned for lost lives and for our country. But the real tragedy of the day unveiled itself later in the week as we heard stories of those who lost their lives or those who lost loved ones.

Therein lies the tragedy of 9-11. Not that our country was attacked, though it was. Not that we no longer felt secure, although we could never be as secure as we thought we were. But rather because people lost their husbands, wives, daughters, sons, brothers, sisters, friends, lovers.

While the rest of us on September 12, 2001, returned to work, quiet and thoughtful though that return might have been, we were fortune enough to be able to return to our lives without the heartache of mourning a lost loved one, without having to relive the horror of watching from the streets as the towers collapsed, without the lonely waiting and wondering.

The fact of the matter is that although 9-11 deeply impacted me, what I felt was only a reflection of what those in the midst of the debris must have felt.

It's the individual human suffering that breaks my heart. It is for those who mourned real losses that I believe we should further commemorate this day. Not for those who lost their lives or those of us who lost our sense of ease and naivete. But for those who mourned real losses.

Summer Review

What a whirlwind of a summer we had! It was fun and in some cases exciting, and at the same time, it was also not the restful summer I am used to. I am not starting the school year feeling rested, but it's okay. It was worth it.

Summer was fun because:

1. We went to Disneyland.
2. I went to summer camp.
3. We adopted a new puppy.

It was exhausting because:

1. I worked too much.
2. I was gone a lot.
3. We went to Disneyland.
4. I went to space camp within a week of Jason going to San Francisco for a conference.
5. We adopted a new puppy.

I know, blah, blah, blah. busy. blah, blah, blah, work. blah, blah, blah, tired.

The story of my life. Anyway, here are some pictures to illustrate the fun:

Happy new school year, everyone.


 

Family Update

Goodness! Sometimes I read my blog and realize it's really heavy and, well, kind of dry. So I thought I would take a lighter approach and give a family update in the spirit of Stacy Julian:

Right now:

Roz has just finished science camp. She loved it, as did I. To name just one activity she participated in while there: She took an old iPod speaker station that she took apart and explored. She seems to be on the verge to learning to swim, which would be great. After all these years of lessons, she might actually swim across the pool. She finds homework boring, so although she misses school, she is glad to have the break from homework. She is also taking a break from piano lessons. This summer should be fun. She and I are loving reading together.

Sawyer is still obsessed with trains, but has branched out to cars, tools, and Spiderman, although trains are still his toy of choice. I don't mind, since I love them too. We love train rides, and with two trains in town we can ride, we have a fun summer ahead. He is also taking swimming lessons. He is starting a new day care/preschool this summer.

Jason is still working on his master's and is gearing up for his dissertation. His papers are really interesting, and I am learning a lot about post modernism by reading them for him. I am impressed with his hard work, passion, and insight.

I am taking a break from my master's and really looking forward to the summer ahead: Disneyland, Space Camp, naps, a few good books, lots of kid time, and some crafting.

Okay, so maybe this blog post is a little dry and a little Christmas-letter-family-bragging, but I wrote it so I am publishing it just like my students who refuse to edit out that paragraph they love but that actually detracts from the thesis.

Happy summer evening to everyone. I love these nights when the air is that perfect Nevada summer evening air - cool but not frigid, fresh and not hazy.

Feeling ADD

We suspect our daughter might have ADD. Her brain pops around from one thing to another, so much so that she sometimes wanders around the house with one shoe on because something distracted her half way through the dressing process. In fact, right now she is walking around with her PJ shirt on inside out and backward. She reminds me of the dog in Up who gets distracted by squirrels.

And lately I remind myself of her. My goal this year has been to simplify. Part of this process is physical - downsizing the number of possessions in my life. Part of this process is mental - focusing on the things that matter. A lot of that process is task-oriented - decreasing the number of items that find their way onto my to-do list.

This last element - the number of tasks on my to-do list - is challenging for me. I guess I am a bit of a workaholic. I cringe as I write that word workaholic. People often throw this term around with a sort of martyr-like pride. I don't see it that way. Working too much is not a good thing. It's not good for me, my family or my classes. And it's not wise living.

I am lucky in that I work in a field that I find exciting and challenging and fun, but that often means that I find myself immersed in problems I am trying to solve, sometimes even when they don't relate to my own classroom. Because I am buried in way, WAY too many projects at work, they take away from my main priorities in life - my children and my students.

Right now I am reading a book on literacy across the curriculum and taking notes to share with colleagues; I am working on unwrapping the new Common Core standards so that the department can apply them to all levels of English courses; I have been tutoring (for free) a student I have never had in class because he is trying to pass the writing proficiency test; I am meeting with local community members to start creating a broader vision for education in my town; I am reading materials to prepare to assist my colleague as she leads us through the accreditation process; and I am reading Milton Chen's work and brainstorming ways his ideas can apply to what I do. And this is all stuff that I am doing now, in the summer, when school isn't in session.


The result is that I feel like I have ADD. Even without classes to lesson plan for, to teach to, and to grade for, I feel spread too thin with my school-related commitments. Like my daugther, I am running around partially dressed because something has distracted me midway through the process. I am tired, spread too thin, and grouchy.

And these are just my summer work projects. This issue translates very well into my world of crafting and household projects.

A few years ago I read an article called "Saying No So That I Can Say Yes." Her premise was that it is important to say no to things so that you can say yes to the things that matter. Say no to being the PTA secretary so that you can spend more time reading with your child. Say no to that extra committee at work so that you can fit in a workout every day. Say no to a party invitation so that you can say yes to movie night with your children. This should become my mantra - Say No So That You Can Say Yes.


The good thing about blogging is that I can figure things out as the words move from my brain through my fingers and onto this blog. The answer to this problem is that I need to decide what summer work projects are the ones I want to focus my attentions on and erase all others from my to-do list. And I should do the same with the crafting projects and the household projects - choose more wisely where I want to spend my time. Because it's stupid to over-commit.

Wishing you simple living.

Three Books and What I Am Reading

I was pondering literature lately, and I asked myself the question What are three books every American should read? Yes, I do occasionally interview myself, but rather than seeing it as weird, let's all just see it as part of the English teacher/blogger/scrapbooker that I am.

Maybe if I spent more time contemplating this subject, I would have a different list, but for now here are the three I chose:

1. Timothy O'Brien's The Things They Carried - Besides being a work of genius, this book contains themes that I think everyone ought to consider, namely that war must not be taken lightly. When we invaded Iraq, I wanted everyone to think about O'Brien's quote: ". . . [I]t seemed to me that when a nation goes to war it must have reasonable confidence in the justice and imperative of its cause. You can't fix your mistakes. Once people are dead, you can't make them undead." But many consider this novel as much about storytelling as about war. In fact, O'Brien himself has said that the theme of the novel is that stories can save our lives. Just remember that none of the stories are meant to be taken literally because, as the narrator explains, "A thing may happen and be a total lie; another thing may not happen and be truer than the truth." Sometimes a fictional element is more truthful than a factual element.
2. Barbara Kingsolver's The Poisonwood Bible - Simply because Americans should know how much of mess our country sometimes makes of other countries' business and how missionary work abroad is often more grounded in arrogance than kindness.
3. Shakespeare's Hamlet - Who can't relate to unrequited love, fear, and step-parent issues? Plus, there is so much tragic beauty in the language.

I have too many books going right now. What I want is a good novel to sink my teeth into, but at the moment, I am reading some interesting and thought-provoking nonfiction books:

• Milton Chen's Education Nation - I love his idea that we could be a country that values education and learning so much so that education becomes the focal point of what we do in our communities - parents taking parenting classes, summer science projects, etc. Plus, I find nothing more exciting than reading about schools that are successfully innovating and reinventing education.
• Hayes Jacob's Active Literacy Across the Curriculum: Strategies for Reading, Writing, Speaking, and Listening - Definitely for educators, this book outlines ways schools can increase literacy. I wanted something with researched-based ideas on teaching grammar, which isn't what this book is, but it has given me some ideas nonetheless. I am reading this for an independent study curriculum development course I am taking, which means I have to consciously set time aside to read it or I never will.
• Sharon Salzberg's Loving-Kindness: the Revolutionary Art of Happiness - Even though this book just arrived in the mail yesterday, I am already two chapters deep. I love it. My friend and I are going to read it together. Geek that I am, I love books that have exercises in them, as does this one.

Happy reading!

A School Year Reflection

The school year has ended, and its closure has prompted me to reflect on the year. Without a doubt, this school year has been the most unusual year I have had.

While the year was great for me personally with the Nevada State Teacher of the Year award and the easiest and friendliest group of students I could ask for, there was a lot of sadness around me. Two different nineteen year-old men died. In my classes were each of their best friends and one of the boy's girlfriend. A colleague's boyfriend died, and one of my student's mother died on her daughter's eighteenth birthday. And of course, Steven and Keegan died in the spring. In all of my years teaching, I have never experienced this kind of grief around me. Watching my students suffer through their grief and guilt was incredibly difficult. There were many moments when I didn't know what to do or say.

There were far too many days when I wished I could have carried someone's grief, if even for a few minutes, to offer him a reprieve from his hurt, but alas, the world doesn't work that way. So while I packed my bags and headed off to Dallas to meet my STOY classmates and later to D.C. to meet the president, those around me were simply trying to get through the day.

The whole experience has reminded me how lucky I am to have those I love around me. The truth of the matter is that we are all going to die, and at any moment I could lose a parent, a friend or even one of my children. Life is fragile. All the more reason to take a moment to have lunch with my mom, to play trains with my son, to color with my daughter, to apologize to a friend, to listen quietly to a student telling me about her last conversation with her friend.

People matter, and they leave us or we leave them. What does that mean to you?

A Few Deep Breaths

I read an email today from someone who had judged senior projects in which she lamented the quality of grammar in students' portfolios and asked if we are really graduating students who "who cannot reliably write grammatical sentences." 

Now, first of all, I feel compelled to say that I am open to hearing what people have to say about what they see in our seniors' work, and at that same time, I expect that it be balanced and not solely criticism. We know we have areas to work on; we also know there are a lot of strengths to what our students produce. I say that because I don't want people to feel they can't dialogue openly with me.

But with that having been said, I am going to drop her comment, even though I have a lot I could say. But as my day is winding down, I am not pleased the I am focusing my energies on such a short - albeit negative - moment of an otherwise wonderful day. So for that reason, I am going to end my day with a list of ten things that made me happy today:

1. I was able to give blood today. This made me happy because my iron is often one silly little point below the cutoff. It also made me happy because, as a baby blood donor, I get treated like a very special person when I walk through the doors of United Blood Services. Case in point: today I was told today I was "a very special person." Who wouldn't love that?
2. While donating blood, I had fifteen lovely minutes of quiet time to myself.
3. At The Salvation Army store, I found three - count them THREE, pair of pants for my son. As a boy who loves to play with trains, he wears out the knees of all his pants, so much so that patching doesn't do any good. So I am always looking for pants that will fit him for a reasonable price.
4. My students made me laugh today - a lot.
5. My students wrote very sweet things in their letters to next year's seniors.
6. After they took a shower, I got to sit with my kids for over a half an hour reading an Ivy and Bean book. This especially pleased me because Ivy and Bean are chapter books for girls, but my son was still happy to sit quietly in my lap and listen to the story about two girls getting themselves trapped in a crawl space.
7. The Senior Project Committee chose the recipients of our senior project awards. Some very deserving -- and probably unsuspecting students -- will be receiving these awards next week.
8. We had a nice family dinner tonight. It's simple. We do it every night with a few exceptions, but I feel lucky to have my two kids and my husband at my dinner table with me every night.
9. My kids cleared the table, took out the recycling, and cleaned up the living room. 'Nuff said.
10. In a few moments, I will be reading another chapter from Tina Fey's book Bossypants. This book isn't for everyone. You have to like her sense of humor. If you do, this book will make you laugh out loud - literally.

So, yeah. I guess I have become a little bit of a Pollyanna lately, as someone mentioned the other day. But as I am learning to let things go, I am increasing my capacity for happiness and making life better for those around me.

Cheers to the little things like a blood donation appointment and a chapter book!

Senior Academic Letter Night Speech

Last night I spoke at the award ceremony for seniors receiving the academic letter. Although I was nervous, it was fun, and the entire ceremony was over in less than twenty minutes, which gave us more time to mingle and enjoy cake. It was a great experience for me because I was very nervous, which I needed as a reminder for how my seniors felt today as they gave their senior board speeches.

Here is my speech transcript:

I would like to start by thanking Melissa James for asking me to be here tonight. It is an honor to be here with you all. But I also want to thank all of you for being who you are. I think I can speak for the entire staff of Carson High School when I say that over the last four years, you have brought us a lot of joy with your enthusiasm for life. Looking back on the last four years, I think of the homecoming assemblies, theater productions, musical performances, art shows and athletic competitions in which you have demonstrated your passions.

You have brought us pride by working hard and excelling in what you do – all of you – that’s why you are here tonight. Looking back on the last four years, I think of all the novels you have read, the A.P. government essays you have written, the debate cases you have developed, and the smelly science projects you have completed. You have completed trig problems that look like a foreign language and written essays in an actual foreign language. You have designed web pages in Dream Weaver and architecture in CAD that rival that of professionals in those fields, and you have made us proud with your efforts in your athletic endeavors, knowing that even when you didn’t win, you represented your school with dignity.

You have brought us inspiration by demonstrating kindness and generosity to others. Looking back at the last four years, I think of all the money you have raised for organizations such as the Invisible Children Foundation, the canned foods piled high at Thanksgiving, the adopted families at Christmas time, and more recently the generosity and love you have all shown Mrs. Peton as she prepares for her heart transplant.

But now that you are leaving, you bring us great pride tinged with sadness as we see you leave our small school community to explore the world at large. Our one hope is that you continue your patterns of joy, hard work, compassion and generosity. If you always look to your heart when making a decision, you will not go wrong.

I know you are all being showered with advice right now – everyone wants to tell you what to major in, how to be successful, and what NOT to do at college, but I want to take a moment of your time to share with you the lesson that teaching has continually presented to me. And that is the importance of remembering to always be kind to others because you never know what may be going on that you don’t see.

I am reminded of particular student – Armando – who was in my freshman English class. He was enrolled into my class a month into the school year. I didn’t think to ask why. He rarely smiled. I didn’t think to ask why. He never did his work – in class or at home. I didn’t think to ask why. I did try, however, to get him to work. I first tried joking with him. That didn’t work. I tried befriending him. That didn’t work. Finally I tried being aggressive with him and insisting he do his work. As you can probably imagine, that didn’t work.

Ultimately, I decided to let him be. I reasoned that it was his prerogative to not do his work. But then one day, I assigned an essay written in letter form. Students were to write to their parents asking for something. When I walked past Armando, he said to me, “Miss, I can’t do this assignment.” I wondered why this was different than any other assignment. A few minutes later, he repeated his claim, “Miss, I can’t do this assignment.”

Now, you think by now I might have keyed in to his need to tell me something, but I kept walking.

Finally, Armando asked to talk to me in the hall. There he said to me, “I can’t do this assignment because my dad’s in prison.” And then he paused, “And my mom died of cancer in August.”

At that moment, it became clear to me why Armando wasn’t doing his work. He felt like giving up because he felt life had given up on him.

From that moment on, our relationship changed. I looked forward to seeing Armando every other day. This change was not because of something he did differently, but because I saw him as the human being he was – a person just trying to get by.

Armando is fine now – every now and then he sends word to me about where he is and what he is doing. And I am grateful for those updates and for having known him.

I know that many students have walked in and out of my classroom who have struggled just as Armando had, and I probably never knew it. I stumble a lot with this lesson, but I do try to remember that every person is fighting some battle, and I hope that as you explore the larger world, you make it a better place by always remembering to forgive and to share your time and compassion with others.

Congratulations and thank you.