What I'm Reading Right Now

I have a number of books going. (Normally, I'm a one-book-at-a-time person.)

I am reading two Tim O'Brien books for my classes - The Things They Carried and If I Die in a Combat Zone. I thoroughly enjoy both of these books, one a fictional account and one a memoir of the Vietnam War. I LOVE the Things They Carried. The first story in the book entitled "The Things They Carried" is about the things the soldiers carried - literally and figuratively. He writes about how they carried pictures of their girlfriends and the ghosts of their fallen comrades. He writes about how they carried weapons and their guilt over being afraid. The carried beer and shame. It's truly a wonderful piece of fiction that my AP students enjoy.

If I Die is a little more straight-forward, but still a very interesting account of the war. My English IV students are really interested in the Vietnam War. They have a lot of questions and know very little about the war. They want to know why we went to war and who we were fighting and why the soldiers weren't treated well when they returned. I think they see themselves a lot in this book because they know that many of their classmates will be joining the military within months, or sometimes days, of graduating. They are completely quiet when we talk about the war. It's heaven for an English IV teacher. :)

I am also just starting Three Cups of Tea, which is for my book club. Don't know too much at this time.

I have been slowly reading Thubten Chodron's Guided Meditations on the Stages of the Path, which accompanies her guided meditation CD. It's very instructive and includes a style of meditation I haven't yet played with. I am enjoying it.

Melted Snow

I cannot believe how quickly the snow has melted (mostly while I napped). Compare this to the pic I posted earlier today. Pretty incredible.

***More Snow!***

I can't believe we got more snow! This time we got a little more than half a foot, I'd say. It's pretty and all, but I'm ready for spring. At least we can say we're out of our drought.

This picture was taken as the morning sun crept over the hills.

A couple more pics

. . . from my photo shoot yesterday.

Lots of Pics

This picture was taken at my friend's wedding. It was a lot of fun. She's from the Ukraine, and he's from Uzebikstan. We were pretty much the only nonRussian-speaking folk at the wedding. The Russians were funny and had a lot of fun wedding traditions. We were lucky enough to have a Russian sitting at our table translating and explaining. I'm the one in the center.
I took way too many pictures yesterday of my kids as they played in the spring-like weather.

A Happier Note

On a much happier note, today my DS woke with a runny nose, but no fever. All is well.

The weather is beautiful, sunny with an expected high of 57 degrees. A beautiful day to spend with the family.

Clinging to My Children's Health

I wrote recently about the daily contemplations and my need to accept that my children will get ill. Today, my DS came down with a fever right before bedtime. I put him down to bed and am wringing my hands.

After the death of a young girl in our town from the flu, I am very nervous about my son's fever.
It's simple: I get ridiculously nervous at times like these.

What if his fever spikes in the middle of the night, and I don't know it? What if he has the flu? What if he starts having breathing problems in the middle of the night and I am unaware? What if . . . ? The end of that sentence goes all the way to the unimaginable for a parent.

I wish I could let go.

"Of the Nature to Get Sick"

Me and my sick DS taken by my DD.

Today, my friends' daughter, almost a year old, burned her hands badly on the fireplace at the day care where we take our children. One hand is so badly burned she will have to have skin grafts later in life, they were told by the specialist.

Today, my husband's friend lost her granddaughter to the flu. She was in the sixth grade.

Recently, my daughter was ill with the flu. We worried about her, especially since her asthma makes getting any respiratory illness complicated and at times down right frightening.

All this made me think of my first day as a member of my sangha. The group was discussing their homework from the week before. They were to read the Buddha's daily contemplations on life every day. I haven't been able to find them today, but they go something like this:
I am of the nature to get sick. I will get sick.
I am of the nature to get old. I will get old.
I am of the nature to die. I will die.

I spent the next couple days thinking about these daily contemplations, and it occured to me that what I need to be contemplating is that my children are of the nature to get sick, of the nature to get old, of the nature to die.

They will get sick.

I know this sounds morbid, but the truth is that I cannot control my children's health. And that is the point of this meditation, to accept the vicissitudes of life, to accept that things are beyond our control, to accept the finality of our mortality.

Today made me very aware of this contemplation. And oddly enough, these contemplations, though they seem morbid, actually make me feel better, more at ease.

This Lovely Little Thing

I love my iPod. It's one of the few items I own that I use daily (along with my espresso machine, coffee pot, travel mug, hair dryer, and slippers). I listen to music, but mostly to podcasts - whatever the theme of the season may be for me. Mostly, I listen to Buddhist podcasts, The Interdependence Project being my favorite. I also realy enjoy Scrapcast, Material Mama, and Sew Forth Now. I got a littel burned out on Science Friday, but still listen occasionally.

But the truth is that this simple little device helps keep me sane. Putting on my iPod while I straighten up the house after the kids go to bed is calming for me.

I am definitely addicted to this little item.

Temper Tantrums . . .

. . . suck the life out of the day. 'Nuff said.

Obama Speech

Obama came and spoke here in my town a few weeks ago. My friends Mandy and Terri and Jason and I were lucky enough to get great seats. Although we were off to the side, we were pleased, as Obama mostly faced our direction. I believe Obama is a good choice for president in that I believe he is one of the few candidates who can create unity rather than divide. He can speak to liberals and conservatives. He is running his entire campaign without the funding of lobbyists.

Hilary has a solid platform, but she may prove too divisive if she can even get elected.

One of my favorite things about Obama is that he appeals so incredibly to the younger generation, and I have seen an interest in politics in my students that I haven't seen in my previous ten years of teaching. Teenagers love him, and I'm pleased that they are finding an interest in national happenings.

None of my pictures came out that well. This is the best shot I could muster. The rest were too blurry or of the back of his head. For those of you who know Mrs. Q-D, she's in the background there, and my student is the blonde head in the front row.

Here is Jason, who actually ended up a couple rows ahead of me. He got a "blue ticket," which got him in earlier than those of us with yellow tickets, but somehow we ended up right behind him. :p

What I Learned from a Month of Low-Impact Consumption

(Note: this is a work in progress.) I have been reflecting a lot lately on what I learned from my month of low-impact consumption for the month of January (even while wandering the aisles of Walgreen's yesterday).

1. Let's start with the obvious: we don't need as much as we think we need. I tell this to overworked teens all the time. They can't get their homework done because they work until 11:30 at night (which is illegal). They have to work because they have to pay for insurance on their car. They have to have a car because . . . they have to get to work. I'm sure you see the problem with that logic, but after all, they are teens, and their brains are still part child. I try explaining to them that they don't need a car, that many people get by without them, that we have these things called buses. Now, telling a 17 year old that she can ride a bus to school is like telling Paris Hilton she only needs one purse. It just doesn't fly. But I never thought it was a lesson I needed to learn. But, alas, I realized the concept of need is a problem for even me. These thoughts went through my head during my low-impact consumption month: I can't finish this scrapbooking page without buying some more coordinating ribbon. I need to buy a new coat. I need a new pair of jeans. Before I finish this making this skirt, I need to buy a new measuring tape. Clearly, I survived a month without buy blue grosgrain ribbon. I cannot survive without food, and I think I can make a case, albeit a weak one, for my need for coffee, but very few things are needed in life. I have promised myself that I'll make the effort to use more appropriate language. I don't need grosgrain ribbon for that scrapbook page, but I think it would be cute. I would like a new jacket, but I'll survive without it. With only one pair of jeans I can squeeze into, another pair would be useful, but one does get me by. I could use a new measure tape, since mine's been sliced, but it's still largely usable.
2. Shopping takes up a lot of time. Not running to Target for tights for my daughter or to Famous Footwear for those "needed" brown tennies or to Old Navy for that great winter sale gave me more time to spend with my children and doing things I enjoy - like sewing, scrapbooking, reading, napping and, of course, meditating. And the not-so-fun, but productive things like grading papers and doing laundry. (The funny thing about the sewing is that I realized I spend so much time shopping for sewing that I don't have time to sew. I have accumulated enough of a "stash" to hold me over for a long time, years if I continue to sew at the slow pace I have been.)
3. I'm not as fragile as I thought. Here in Northern Nevada, we've been having an unusual stream of snow storms. I realized . . . or thought I realized . . . that I needed a new winter coat. The one I currently have fits well enough for me to wear it, but it's a little tight and definitely not zipable. Even with the cold weather, I decided that a not-so-well fitting coat is better than no coat at all, which is what many people, not just in other countries, but in our own town, have for the winter season. Feeling lucky for what we have is a rare commodity in a consumeristic society.
4. Fastfood is really fattening. I lost weight just by not going to McDonald's with my daughter.
5. It really doesn't take that long to make a couple sandwiches.
6. I don't miss fastfood when I don't eat it.
7. I use food as a comfort item. I never thought I did that, but when I had a bad day and didn't have my Starbucks cup to get a comfort-food hot chocolate, I thought my world would implode, which leads me to the next point:
8. I am obsessed with caffeine.
9. My daughter has adopted my consumeristic tendencies. She wasn't like that for years. We could go down the toy aisle of any store, and she'd enjoy looking, but not beg for toys. Not so now. I realized that when I was in the grocery store with her. My plan was to only buy groceries, but it was a struggle getting her out of the store without stickers, ice cream, and coloring books. We did it, though!
10. The best part was that it was truly an exercise in mindfulness. I realized how quickly I jump to the I'll just go to the store and buy it without even considering real need.

New Challenge/Staying Sane with Papers

For the month of February, I have decided that I will eat veggies with at least two meals per day. For some people, this may seem like a no-brainer, but I'm more of a bread and meat and fruits eater, so this could be challenging.

I forgot on Friday, so I started yesterday. It was good for. For lunch, I ate a salad before I ate the rest of my lunch. For dinner, I had hot and sour soup, which - now that I think of it - doesn't really have many veggies at all. Hmm... I need to pay more attention.

I wanted something that wouldn't mean a lot of extra time, since I will be getting 90 research papers in soon. I won't have much time to do anything besides live and grade, particularly since Jason has a play opening in two weeks and since I have a limited amount of time due to committee due dates. I am working on keeping a positive attitude and trying to find a way I can grade all those papers without giving up the rest of my life. I know it's possible.

My plan:

• Remember to keep a positive attitude and remember that this time is short lived.
• Allow for flexibility. If a paper doesn't get graded in time for committee, so be it. We'll all survive.
• Ask to be subbed out a couple days to grade.
• Use my special ed teachers to plan and teach so that I can grade.
• Use a B6 prep here and there to grade.
• Start deligating more, esp. with department head work.
• Hire a cleaning lady.
• Working out and meditating to help with stress.
• Saying goodbye to sewing and scrapbooking for a while (gotta finish that skirt first!).
• Keep the papers down to 1/2 hour a pop versus the 1 hour allotment I've used in the past.
• Ask my co-teachers to take the lower end special ed students' papers.
• Make sure I give students enough time to write, edit, peer edit, and edit again so that their papers are as good as they can make them.
• Refuse to grade sloppy, unedited papers.
• Ask my friend to babysit once in a while at night so I can grade.

Okay. This isn't therapy. I need to print this list and post if on my mirror and in my car and in my purse and on my computer at school.