That Girl

Last week, I posted about how I have changed as I have aged. This got me thinking about how I have not changed. Meanwhile, a post at Me, My Soldier and Our Four Little Chicks, inspired me to write this:

I am still that girl who

• Feels awkward at parties
• Plays the car stereo way too loud
• Eats too fast
• Loves a good book and a hot drink
• Will constantly pan the horizon for bears and mountain lions when hiking
• Loves dogs
• Is convinced her butt takes up 50% of the space in any given room
• Shops too much
• Feels complete, uncontrollable rage about how unfair life can be
• Talks way too much and too fast and interrupts others
• Wakes up terrified in the middle of the night
• Walks like an elephant
• Cries easily
• Loves hugs whenever, from whomever
• Wants to fit in
• Yet dislikes almost anything mainstream
• Would rather hotel it than tent it
• Questions herself far too often
• Loves to nap, color, and creative playtime
• Digs all things funny

As I Age . . .

I am rounding out my 40th year. I know for many, this age is disconcerting, but it hasn't been for me. In fact, I have very much enjoyed this year. I guess I see myself kind of like a bottle of really good Cabernet. I improve with age. However, the aging process has caused some reflection on my part.*

As this year comes to a close and the big four-one draws nearer, I have been thinking about how I have changed as I have gotten older.

• I care less about how I look and especially how much I weigh. That might not always be a good thing.
• I care more about what I do with my mind. I don't mean intellectually. I am more mindful not only about my actions but about my thoughts as well.
• I love my hometown more and more every year. I used to mumble if people asked me if I was a Native Nevadan, but not anymore. I feel more tied to my school as well.
• I am happier. For a variety of reasons. One is that I have creative outlets that in my twenties I didn't have (it's amazing what some patterned paper and some ink can do for a girl). Another is that I have more love in my life. I have children and a husband whom I adore and some good, solid friendships.
• Because I am more financially secure, I feel more . . . well . . . secure. I don't have to stress over every Hero Arts stamp I buy or order only appetizers and water when I go out with friends. Money does buy a certain freedom from stress.
• I become increasingly curious about my heritage. I haven't started digging through the books of the Mormon church yet (yes, my maternal grandmother was raised Mormon), but I am asking more questions about my family and wanting to write down the stories I do remember, such as my great uncle having to tie his horse every morning at school or my Grandma Laird's memory of walking home and seeing a fire in the distance, only to discover that it was her own house on fire and that her mother was dead.
• My requirements for a car have changed drastically. I now want **gasp** a minivan. Yes, a soul-killing, mojo-depleting minivan. But it will mean I can fit my kids and their friends in it. I can't even fit three booster seats in the back of my car. And I would do anything for a GPS device (though that's not a sign of me changing - I have always been directionally impaired. I still get lost right here in the town I grew up in. Just this Saturday I got lost taking my son to a birthday party).
• I care less about what people think of me, though I am not going to lie - there are still days I am that sixteen-year-old girl feeling the need to please others. Still, the desire to please diminishes every year, and oddly, the more that happens, the kinder I become. And I do things others think I shouldn't, like talk about the "shit fields" with my students or let them use their phones to send me messages via Poll Everywhere's web site during class. If it works educationally, I am doing it.

This makes me wonder, how have you changed as you've aged?

Me in 2004 with the hubby and the first-born.

Me in 2011 with the teachers from Oklahoma and Hawaii.

*What am I saying? EVERYTHING causes reflection on my part. I live my life in reflection mode. But that's a beside the point.

What If . . .?

I have been wondering about education lately, wondering what would happen if we gave up clinging to our current methods of doing things.

• What if grade levels were based on competency and not age?
• What if we allowed students to move ahead grade levels?
• What if all students actually read for pleasure?
• What if all parents valued education?
• What if no parent ever lied to the school to help her child escape a consequence?
• What if every parent regularly read to his children?
• What if decisions came from teachers, the people on the front lines of teaching, rather than from distant lawmakers or administrators?
• What if professional development was differentiated - each teacher researching a subject directly related to his/her teaching assignment?
• What if every teacher received training on current brain research?
• What if we included mindfulness practices as part of our daily routine?
• What if all children got enough sleep and enough to eat?
• What if every parent volunteered in his child's school on a regular basis?
• What if teachers were valued as respected professionals the way we value doctors and lawyers?
• What if the public understood that education was about more than being able to read a driver's license manual or make change from a $20 bill?
• What if all teachers made an effort to make learning interesting and cooperative?
• What if all students put half the effort into learning that they put into their sports or their video games?

What's your what if?

Ten Things I Learned About Parenting from Doggie Obedience School

Our puppy Shadow is a proud graduate of puppy kindergarten. (And for the record, if you are in the Carson City area and need a good trainer, I highly recommend Joanna from Fur and Feather Works.) After every Saturday class, one thought that kept coming to mind: I should really work harder at applying dog-training concepts to parenting. Here are some things I learned:

1. Never repeat your command to your kid dog . If you repeat your command, you tell your kid dog that he doesn't have to listen the first time around. 
2. Yelling and violence are not necessary. Now, for the record, I don't use violence with my kids or dog, but I will be the first to admit that sometimes I get really frustrated and yell. What Joanna taught me is that dogs don't choose the alpha dog based on strength or willpower, but rather from a sense of dignity and respect for one's elders. Respect is earned, not forced.
3. If you scream in anger for your kid dog to come, you're out of your mind. Why would my kid dog come to me when I am screaming in anger?
4. Conversely, make the come command fun. If I want my kid dog to come to me, I need to say come here in such an enthusiastic way that the kid dog can expect nothing less than pure joy when he gets to me. Of course, this is training. Eventually, you can request his presence with a stronger tone, but for training purposes, be happy.
5. Patience is key. You don't teach a kid dog to rollover in a day.
6. Nothing is permanent. My kid dog may be going through a wake-constantly-in-the-middle-of-the-night stage or a chew-everything-in-sight stage, but it's all a stage. Again, patience is key.
7. Socialization at a young age is important. If my kid dog doesn't get kid dog time early on, he will have lots of difficulty learning how to play nicely.
8. When in doubt, throw treats at your kid dog. Okay, out of context, this sounds strange, but my dog has agoraphobia, and I am learning that giving him treats when we are out on a walk will help him associate things that might scare him with things that make him happy, happy, happy. 
9. Wear them out. My kid dog needs to chase a laser pointer light, go on walks, and chase balls. A tired kid dog is a happy kid dog.
10. Every kid dog needs intellectual stimulation. A tired brain is a happy brain. We play hide-and-go-puppy, as my son calls it. That wears both dog and boy out.



A happy dog.