Wednesday, October 28, 2009
OUCH!
Kinked my neck. It hurts. I'm whiney and full of self-pity. Fortunately, we have a three day weekend that I can spend in bed if need-be.
Watching Them Grow Part II
My lil' guy will be three next month! It's amazing how quickly time flies.With his birthday approaching, I have been thinking a lot about how he has changed. He is a peculiar lad who gets very attached to certain things and certain routines. It's usually sweet and cute, although there are times it can make things difficult. Nevertheless, I thought I would share some of his cute quirks:
- He sleeps with a paci, two silky blankets and as many trains as he can cram into his bed.
- He loves to kiss me.
- He likes to take his Thomas train to the park and send it down the big, curly slide. In fact the above picture of him and his train was taken at a park.
- He is terrified of showers, spiders, nail clippers, and sitting on the toilet.
- Every morning when I get him out of bed, I dress him and then hang him upside down as I carry him downstairs. Once in the kitchen, I set him down and get him a granola bar. He sits in my chair at the table, but with his Thomas mat in front of him. (This is an example of one of his goofy routines. He isn't super flexible.
- He likes to sit on my lap while I surf the Thomas web page.
- He copies much of what his older sister does. If she says she has a stomach ache, he says he has one. If she says she doesn't like her dinner, he says he doesn't like his.
- He loves to be read to, which is one of my favorite things to do with him.
- He loves parks and the Children's Musuem.
Happy Nevada Day and Happy Halloween!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Watching them grow isn't always easy
My daughter is getting to be a "big kid." She already has that big kid attitude, the whatever in her voice. But she'll always be my little girl. I have been reflecting lately on her growing up and the things that I so admire or find endearing in her personality right now:- She is an includer, always making sure people feel part of the group.
- Although she loves princesses, she also likes trains and tools.
- She is still, even at age six, a crazy dresser, and sometimes I want to scream You can't leave the house in THAT at her. Nevertheless, I bite my tongue and let her walk proudly out the door in her purple dress, red leggings, and rainbow socks.
- She is incredibly creative and can develop plot lines more intriguing that those in most children's movies.
- She can read better than some high school kids, no kidding. I knew she'd be a good reader, but holy cow, the girl can read some challenging material!
- She won't clean her room, but she will line up every toy in the bathroom, meticulously fold all the towels, strategically place the soap dispenser in the most particular way, and even line up the toilet paper rolls better than most OCD adults I know. Meanwhile, her room is literally dangerous to walk into.
- She has a better understanding of pitch than do I and is proving very successful on the piano.
- She draws lovely pictures of all sorts of things, but especially of people she loves.
Lucky Me
It occurred to me today how lucky I am to have the job I have. I get to work with young people who are full of energy, compassion, and a desire to succeed. While I find my work frustrating at times, it is largely rewarding and inspiring.
Today I witnessed students struggling to understand a complicated topic (misused/misplaced modifiers). While they found it confusing, they barreled through it without complaint. I was without a doubt proud of their work ethics.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
This weekend . . .
. . . was a blast. I got to attend one of the two single-day retreats by Donald Rothberg. He is one of my favorite teachers because he incorporates interactive activities to the day. While I felt that the second day's topic - Keeping Cool In The Fire: Becoming More Skillful With Inner Or Outer Conflict - was more personally relevant, I was only able to attend the Saturday retreat on Emptiness and Compassion. As it turns out, it was a happy accident, as I found the day enlightening and relevant.
I had previously decided the Buddhist concept of emptiness was beyond me, that okay - if I ever have the opportunity to go deep into practice, that I might get the chance to understand this topic somewhat vaguely.
But alas, Donald made the topic very clear. And this abstract concept is paradoxically kind of simple. He defines emptiness as no self without interdependence, meaning that we as individuals and our experiences do not exist without the myriad of other elements that play into/build upon the "self" and its experiences.
I try to come up with examples, but they fall flat, so let's just leave it at that. I feel very grateful to have had the opportunity to spend the day with such loving, compassionate people and to learn so much in so short a time. Plus, I meditated today for forty minutes, which I never do at home. It was a breeze. The day-longs definitely further my practice.
Meanwhile, DH and I attended a party sans kids, which we haven't done in YEARS. It was a blast hanging out with friends where none of us had to change a diaper, settle a dispute, leave at 7 p.m. for bedtime, or wipe a nose.
Today was productive. The kids spent the night at my MIL's house, which meant I was able to work on Rosalind's costume, clean my car, do laundry, go to lunch DH and meditate all without interruption.
I feel very lucky to have the life I have.
I had previously decided the Buddhist concept of emptiness was beyond me, that okay - if I ever have the opportunity to go deep into practice, that I might get the chance to understand this topic somewhat vaguely.
But alas, Donald made the topic very clear. And this abstract concept is paradoxically kind of simple. He defines emptiness as no self without interdependence, meaning that we as individuals and our experiences do not exist without the myriad of other elements that play into/build upon the "self" and its experiences.
I try to come up with examples, but they fall flat, so let's just leave it at that. I feel very grateful to have had the opportunity to spend the day with such loving, compassionate people and to learn so much in so short a time. Plus, I meditated today for forty minutes, which I never do at home. It was a breeze. The day-longs definitely further my practice.
Meanwhile, DH and I attended a party sans kids, which we haven't done in YEARS. It was a blast hanging out with friends where none of us had to change a diaper, settle a dispute, leave at 7 p.m. for bedtime, or wipe a nose.
Today was productive. The kids spent the night at my MIL's house, which meant I was able to work on Rosalind's costume, clean my car, do laundry, go to lunch DH and meditate all without interruption.
I feel very lucky to have the life I have.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
War
How do you explain war to an inquisitive six-year-old?
At the dinner table tonight, my husband and I struggled to answer our daughter's questions regarding war. What is war? Why is our country at war? Of the two wars we have now, which is "the good war"?
It saddened me to be explaining to this sweet child that people kill one another over serious issues, but also sometimes over money and greed.
Over the last few years, I have experienced a lot of sadness and guilt: I can get up every morning knowing with some relative certainty that my children will return home alive at the end of the day, but many mothers in Iraq don't have that luxury. Isn't that something that all mothers deserve?
I watched my daughter with pride and a little twinge of grief as her face got quiet after every answer we offered. She lost a bit of her innocence, her belief that the world is a completely safe and loving place. She seemed to understand the complexity of the situation, the gray areas of something as complicated as war.
This is what it's like to watch a little girl grow up. It's not entirely bad.
And then tonight I found this image:. It brought me to tears.
My one hope is that her generation can find away around killing human beings as a solution to problems. It's a far-off, light-headed dream, I know. But I'm willing to wait and see.
At the dinner table tonight, my husband and I struggled to answer our daughter's questions regarding war. What is war? Why is our country at war? Of the two wars we have now, which is "the good war"?
It saddened me to be explaining to this sweet child that people kill one another over serious issues, but also sometimes over money and greed.
Over the last few years, I have experienced a lot of sadness and guilt: I can get up every morning knowing with some relative certainty that my children will return home alive at the end of the day, but many mothers in Iraq don't have that luxury. Isn't that something that all mothers deserve?
I watched my daughter with pride and a little twinge of grief as her face got quiet after every answer we offered. She lost a bit of her innocence, her belief that the world is a completely safe and loving place. She seemed to understand the complexity of the situation, the gray areas of something as complicated as war.
This is what it's like to watch a little girl grow up. It's not entirely bad.
And then tonight I found this image:. It brought me to tears.
My one hope is that her generation can find away around killing human beings as a solution to problems. It's a far-off, light-headed dream, I know. But I'm willing to wait and see.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
More on Happiness
One other comment about happiness that stood out from the Rick Hanson retreat is his comment that people learn better when they're happy because dopamine encourages synaptic development. As a teacher, I clicked into this concept. It is a good reminder to find enjoyable ways for my students to learn.
That's all for this cold, wet kind of day.
That's all for this cold, wet kind of day.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Happiness, Meditation and the Brain
Disclaimer: In this blog post I cover some very complicated issues presented at a retreat. I hope that I come close to the target as I try to explain them. I am not a neural scientist and do not fully understand the concepts I relay, but I have done my best is formulating my understanding of them.
When I went shopping for a faith a couple years back, the NPR Science Friday episode that covered the Dalai Lama and scientists studying happiness caught my attention. The show documented a connection between Buddhist practice and happiness. I couldn't have been more intrigued, so I started looking into Buddhism and eventually decided to dive in and start my practice.
Part of my practice is attending our sangha's day-long retreats. The recent Rick Hanson retreat covered meditation and the brain. Part of that talk included a discussion on happiness.
Hanson talked about synaptic patterns and how they form. He explained that "those that fire together wire together," meaning that when a person has repeated thought patterns, synapses fire; those firings form a connection, thereby forming a neural pattern. For example, a person who is ruminating about an argument she had with her partner is solidifying that negative pattern through her rumination. Then she sees her partner, and those negative synapses are triggered, and a negative attitude toward her partner is stimulated.
One of the more intriguing elements of this is that negative thought processes "wire together" much more quickly than do positive thought processes. Hanson pointed out to us that this serves a biological, evolutionary purpose. A primate living in the wild must pay more attention to those things that could kill her than those things that bring her pleasure. It's a matter of survival.
Hanson's point in discussing this is that we need to consciously focus more on the positive thoughts to encourage our brains to think positively. Because negative patterns formulate more quickly and more easily than do positive, we must work harder at developing the positive. Meditation, specifically metta meditation, does this. When a meditator sits and focuses on loving, kind feelings associated with others, even toward a person with whom she has difficulties, she is solidifying that positive synaptic association. The result is a happier and kinder person.
As part of our practice that day, Hanson lead us through a guided meditation using the following steps:
One of the things I so dearly love is science, particularly medical science. I love to read about new discoveries in science. At this retreat Hanson illustrated just how far the field of neural science has come when he said that in the last twenty years we have doubled our understanding of the brain and that scientists expect that to double again in the next twenty years.
The biggest discovery has been our understanding of the relationship between the brain and the mind: no longer do scientists believe that the brain only affects the mind, but they now also believe that the mind affects the brain, as illustrated in the "those that fire together wire together" concept I mentioned above.
That is huge. Everyone should know this.
Yes, hormonal imbalances can affect mood, but we also now know that thought patterns can affect biological functions that happen in the brain, thereby either encouraging or discouraging happiness.
This is good news: We have some control over happiness.
When I went shopping for a faith a couple years back, the NPR Science Friday episode that covered the Dalai Lama and scientists studying happiness caught my attention. The show documented a connection between Buddhist practice and happiness. I couldn't have been more intrigued, so I started looking into Buddhism and eventually decided to dive in and start my practice.
Part of my practice is attending our sangha's day-long retreats. The recent Rick Hanson retreat covered meditation and the brain. Part of that talk included a discussion on happiness.
Hanson talked about synaptic patterns and how they form. He explained that "those that fire together wire together," meaning that when a person has repeated thought patterns, synapses fire; those firings form a connection, thereby forming a neural pattern. For example, a person who is ruminating about an argument she had with her partner is solidifying that negative pattern through her rumination. Then she sees her partner, and those negative synapses are triggered, and a negative attitude toward her partner is stimulated.
One of the more intriguing elements of this is that negative thought processes "wire together" much more quickly than do positive thought processes. Hanson pointed out to us that this serves a biological, evolutionary purpose. A primate living in the wild must pay more attention to those things that could kill her than those things that bring her pleasure. It's a matter of survival.
Hanson's point in discussing this is that we need to consciously focus more on the positive thoughts to encourage our brains to think positively. Because negative patterns formulate more quickly and more easily than do positive, we must work harder at developing the positive. Meditation, specifically metta meditation, does this. When a meditator sits and focuses on loving, kind feelings associated with others, even toward a person with whom she has difficulties, she is solidifying that positive synaptic association. The result is a happier and kinder person.
As part of our practice that day, Hanson lead us through a guided meditation using the following steps:
- Setting intention
- Relaxing the body
- Focusing on feelings of safety
- Evoking positive emotions
- Absorbing the benefits
One of the things I so dearly love is science, particularly medical science. I love to read about new discoveries in science. At this retreat Hanson illustrated just how far the field of neural science has come when he said that in the last twenty years we have doubled our understanding of the brain and that scientists expect that to double again in the next twenty years.
The biggest discovery has been our understanding of the relationship between the brain and the mind: no longer do scientists believe that the brain only affects the mind, but they now also believe that the mind affects the brain, as illustrated in the "those that fire together wire together" concept I mentioned above.
That is huge. Everyone should know this.
Yes, hormonal imbalances can affect mood, but we also now know that thought patterns can affect biological functions that happen in the brain, thereby either encouraging or discouraging happiness.
This is good news: We have some control over happiness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)