Keeping "heart" in my mind: Fitness

One of the things I did to remind of my focus on heart this year was buy a necklace through an Etsy store called LoveSquaredDesign. I love it. I have only had it for a few days, but I already find it keeps me mindful of my intentions to take care of my heart and to live from my heart.

At the heart of "heart" is living compassionately, authentically, and healthfully. I am breaking down my focus into the following categories:

• Body - I want to get healthy and feel strong. Specifically, I am aiming for cardiovascular fitness.
• Family - What better personifies heart than family? I want to get closer to both of my kids and to my parents.
• Spirituality - My practice is at the heart of all I do. I want to reconnect with loving-kindness and wise speech, which is what drew me to Buddhism to begin with. 
• Emotional well-being - I hope to become happier by working out and living more authentically to who I am. 
• Work - I intend to consider the elements of wise speech when I interact with others at work: truthfulness, helpfulness, timeliness, and compassion. While it may take some time and soul-searching, I need to decide on the direction of my career. I feel lost at the moment and toying with the idea of heading back to the classroom at the end of this three-year position.
• Creatively - I spent last year taking a year-long course exploring different styles and techniques. This year, I want to develop my own style and spend less time on social media admiring others'.

That's the tentative plan. I plan to blog regularly as another method of intention-setting and intention-keeping.

Cheers!

My 2014 Word for the Year

For the last couple of years, I chose a word for the year. It's similar to a resolution, but instead of choosing a goal, the word becomes the focus. It has proven to work for me far better than a resolution because what I choose is tied into my values and related to where I am at that time in my life. In 2012, I chose simplify. For 2013, my word was family. This year, to make it stick, I decided to participate in Ali Edwards class, One Little Word. I am loving the structure her class offers so far in terms of providing a method for reflection and intention-setting.

This year, my word didn't come to me as clearly as it had in the past. I searched, chose, revised, pondered, revised, and finally settled on heart.

I lost my footing a lot this year. I lost my connection to my Buddhist practice, and my brother passed away. Watching him die was a humbling experience. It both broke my heart and inspired me to live life differently, more intentionally.

Heart spoke to me for a number of reasons. Mostly, I liked it because it encompassed many of the other words that were floating in my head.

One of the words I first considered was bold. Bold spoke to me because I learned about how boldy my brother lived his life: he worked, rode horses, painted, flew as a flight instructor, hunted, competed in trap shooting competitions, and coached others trap shooting. These are only a few of the things he delved into with a passion. His bold passion for life inspires me. I learned that whenever he fired someone, he wore a red shirt with a black tie. This might seem cold, but I loved learning that about him. It spoke to his boldness and his sense of humor


Bold also spoke to me because I decided this year that I have to have faith in my viewpoint. Working in a new position very different from classroom teaching, I found myself a number of times having an opinion I didn't assert because I didn't trust my own instincts and knowledge. I thought that others knew better. More than once I learned that my instincts were right and that I let myself and my colleagues down by not having the courage - not being bold enough - to assert myself.

However, bold was not the only word I considered: I also considered health. After my brother passed away, I came across a research study that showed that adults who have a sibling die are much more likely to experience a heart attack within the next five years. I committed to improving my health. I. Will. Not. Be. A. Statistic.

Authentic was another word that grabbed my attention. I want to be me, to not fear presenting myself authentically to the world. Authenticity is something I really value, but I often found myself pretending to be something I am not in this current position at work (again because I didn't trust my own judgement). One day, after what I thought was a successful fake-out, a friend spoke to me bluntly: "That was so fake, Cheryl. I could totally tell you didn't buy what you were selling, and neither do I." This shook me a little. I didn't how to respond.  To deny that my "sell" was fake would be to layer on the lies. Two books helped inspire this: Lean In by Sheryl Sandburg about how women don't take enough risks in the workplace and Quiet by Susan Cain about how introverts are better off accepting who they are and not trying to fit into the ideals of our extroverted culture.

Finally, home presented itself. While this last year, I focused on family, I still continue to neglect my home. It's messy and needs some TLC. Plus, it's not a place I often love, and I want to change this.

As I pondered all these words, a friend suggested heart as a word to cover all of my goals. Sometimes I worry that heart is too scattered, but so far, I like how it's playing out. I am already learning to see the word as being about love - love for me, and it fits in with my other intention to reconnect with my passion for the Dharma and my practice, to return my heart practice.

With family being my word of choice last year, I consciously chose to not blog; this year, however, I intend to blog more regularly as a way to stay connected to my heart and to share my progress with those who live within my heart.

To all of you, I wish you happy, healthy, and heart-felt 2014. Cheers!