In Remembrance

Today is September 11, 2009. Eight years ago, I stood in front of my television and watched as a plane flew into the second tower. At that moment, I was clueless as to the extent of what was happening, but underneath my confusion, I knew that my world was about to change.

Eight years later, I still mourn the day that so many died in the terrorist attacks. I don't mourn the loss of our country's innocence, however. If anything good could come from such a terrible day, it is that Americans began to see themselves through the eyes of others. It took some time, but because of September 11, more Americans are aware of the fact that our government funds groups like al-Qaida when it serves in our best interest. After September 11, we began to see that America is not always the great liberator that we think she is. What could be more patriotic than seeing your own country with clear vision and not the myopia that so often limits our vision? To be able to love your country and know that she isn't perfect is a gift.

And still, it is a day I mourn. I mourn for those who lost their lives, those who lost loved ones, and those who suffered unmentionable grief as they witnessed their own city collapse.

On this day eight years ago, common Americans became heroes, entering burning buildings to save others, facing off with terrorists to prevent more loss of lives, and giving of their all to help their neighbor escape a calamitous situation.

It is also the day that our country joined together and for once put down differences in ideology.
But I am sentimental about this day. I am aware that that our joining together is what led us into an unjust war. In the days following September 11, our president could have led us to war with France because we so blindly bonded.

As I write this, I see contradicting statements in my words and lack of coherence - bouncing back and forth between ideas and stances, lack of smooth transitioning, inarticulately worded sentiments. Yet, I am okay with that because I know that that dissonance most clearly reflects my feelings on this anniversary. September 11 is so powerful for me because it contains for me deep grief, love, sorrow, and hope, as paradoxical as that may sound. America is, after all, a country of paradoxes.