Learning Exp

Gwen Bell - Big Love in a Small World - Blog - The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge: "December 24 Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?"
I have learned a lot about happiness this year, about moving on and letting go, about handling anger, about coaching the mind to be happy even when all you're doing is sitting on a cushion.

One concept stands out, however. I discovered the concept of neural plasticity. It's a scientific concept that has far reaching implications in everyday lives. I have blogged about it before, but it's the idea that although the physical structure and makeup of the brain affect our thoughts, as it turns out, our thoughts can affect the physical structure and makeup of the brain.

Now, you might be thinking that this is a concept, not a real lesson, but it was the Rick Hanson retreat where I learned the applicable lesson. Hanson had us meditate on something that made us happy and to focus on that happiness. The effect was euphoria. Really. True euphoria. It didn't last long for me, but at that moment, it was like a new world cracked open to me and new possibilities were born.

At that moment, it became very clear to me just how powerful the idea of neural plasticity can be.

If there was one thing I would shout from the tops of buildings, it would be, "People! You do not have to be a victim to your biological makeup . . . well, neurologically speaking, anyway." Ok. Maybe the tops of buildings isn't the most effective form of relaying this message, but I want every American to be exposed to this concept. We are a culture of anitdepressants. I have no qualms with people taking antidepressants. This is more about a cultural pattern than an individual struggling with depression. But we need to know that there are things we can do to affect the way our brains function. Powerfully affect the way our brains function. And if we keep at it, momentum comes into play, and that positive force forms more positive energy.

Although I have experienced some very stressful situations this year, I have been happier than I have ever been for many reasons, but largely because I opened myself up to the possibility of true happiness and the idea of myself being that true source of happiness.

It rocked my world.

I feel one other lesson must be addressed. Last spring, when *things* were happening at work and I was experiencing a great deal of anger, I listened to one of Gil Fronsdal's podcasts on anger. Fronsdale works at both the San Francisco Zen Center and Spirit Rock Meditation Center.  I don't remember if it was from Audio Dharma or Zencast, but I do remember him saying that paradoxically, the best time to work with anger is when you're not angry. So that is what I did. Once the situation dissipated, I spent three months working with anger - paying attention to it, looking into its causes, and practicing with skillful methods of dealing with it. I still have work to do, but I grew a lot during that three months.

So thank you to Rick Hanson, Gil Fronsdal, and the Buddha for these lessons, which will undoubtedly resonate in 2010.

Back from Flu Hell

Because our sangha recently discussed suffering, we had the homework assignment of paying attention to suffering. Instead of thinking I am suffering, we could think There is suffering or This is suffering. I spent the week contemplating this thought and was surprised how often I saw suffering. Now, for the non-Buddhists out there, you should know that suffering is a general term that applies to true suffering, dis-ease, discontentment, desire, and so-on. It's a pretty broad spectrum, and the idea is that suffering is caused by attachment. When what we are attached to isn't present, we suffer. So of course the trick is to ditch the attachment and thereby ditch the suffering.

I "suffer" a lot, but I don't suffer much at all. So I spent a week thinking about how I am attached to a lot of different things.

Then my son got the stomach flu. Then I got the stomach flu. Then the husband got the flu, although not the stomach flu. It was a beast, let me tell you. And my perspective on suffering has changed. There's nothing like a good 48 hours of pure misery to remind yourself that life is pretty darn good the other 363 days of the year. It was a great lesson in appreciating the simple things in life as well as in letting go of attachment.

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Thanksgiving is coming, and the local Unity Church is hosting a inter-faith Thanksgiving thanks-giving. I'm looking forward to it. My girlfriends and I are going. We rarely get to do anything like this together, since we are all of different faiths - Catholic, Buddhist, Methodist, Episcopalian. I'm looking forward to a little girl's night out and a little thoughtful thanksgiving at the same time.