A Few Deep Breaths

I read an email today from someone who had judged senior projects in which she lamented the quality of grammar in students' portfolios and asked if we are really graduating students who "who cannot reliably write grammatical sentences." 

Now, first of all, I feel compelled to say that I am open to hearing what people have to say about what they see in our seniors' work, and at that same time, I expect that it be balanced and not solely criticism. We know we have areas to work on; we also know there are a lot of strengths to what our students produce. I say that because I don't want people to feel they can't dialogue openly with me.

But with that having been said, I am going to drop her comment, even though I have a lot I could say. But as my day is winding down, I am not pleased the I am focusing my energies on such a short - albeit negative - moment of an otherwise wonderful day. So for that reason, I am going to end my day with a list of ten things that made me happy today:

1. I was able to give blood today. This made me happy because my iron is often one silly little point below the cutoff. It also made me happy because, as a baby blood donor, I get treated like a very special person when I walk through the doors of United Blood Services. Case in point: today I was told today I was "a very special person." Who wouldn't love that?
2. While donating blood, I had fifteen lovely minutes of quiet time to myself.
3. At The Salvation Army store, I found three - count them THREE, pair of pants for my son. As a boy who loves to play with trains, he wears out the knees of all his pants, so much so that patching doesn't do any good. So I am always looking for pants that will fit him for a reasonable price.
4. My students made me laugh today - a lot.
5. My students wrote very sweet things in their letters to next year's seniors.
6. After they took a shower, I got to sit with my kids for over a half an hour reading an Ivy and Bean book. This especially pleased me because Ivy and Bean are chapter books for girls, but my son was still happy to sit quietly in my lap and listen to the story about two girls getting themselves trapped in a crawl space.
7. The Senior Project Committee chose the recipients of our senior project awards. Some very deserving -- and probably unsuspecting students -- will be receiving these awards next week.
8. We had a nice family dinner tonight. It's simple. We do it every night with a few exceptions, but I feel lucky to have my two kids and my husband at my dinner table with me every night.
9. My kids cleared the table, took out the recycling, and cleaned up the living room. 'Nuff said.
10. In a few moments, I will be reading another chapter from Tina Fey's book Bossypants. This book isn't for everyone. You have to like her sense of humor. If you do, this book will make you laugh out loud - literally.

So, yeah. I guess I have become a little bit of a Pollyanna lately, as someone mentioned the other day. But as I am learning to let things go, I am increasing my capacity for happiness and making life better for those around me.

Cheers to the little things like a blood donation appointment and a chapter book!

Senior Academic Letter Night Speech

Last night I spoke at the award ceremony for seniors receiving the academic letter. Although I was nervous, it was fun, and the entire ceremony was over in less than twenty minutes, which gave us more time to mingle and enjoy cake. It was a great experience for me because I was very nervous, which I needed as a reminder for how my seniors felt today as they gave their senior board speeches.

Here is my speech transcript:

I would like to start by thanking Melissa James for asking me to be here tonight. It is an honor to be here with you all. But I also want to thank all of you for being who you are. I think I can speak for the entire staff of Carson High School when I say that over the last four years, you have brought us a lot of joy with your enthusiasm for life. Looking back on the last four years, I think of the homecoming assemblies, theater productions, musical performances, art shows and athletic competitions in which you have demonstrated your passions.

You have brought us pride by working hard and excelling in what you do – all of you – that’s why you are here tonight. Looking back on the last four years, I think of all the novels you have read, the A.P. government essays you have written, the debate cases you have developed, and the smelly science projects you have completed. You have completed trig problems that look like a foreign language and written essays in an actual foreign language. You have designed web pages in Dream Weaver and architecture in CAD that rival that of professionals in those fields, and you have made us proud with your efforts in your athletic endeavors, knowing that even when you didn’t win, you represented your school with dignity.

You have brought us inspiration by demonstrating kindness and generosity to others. Looking back at the last four years, I think of all the money you have raised for organizations such as the Invisible Children Foundation, the canned foods piled high at Thanksgiving, the adopted families at Christmas time, and more recently the generosity and love you have all shown Mrs. Peton as she prepares for her heart transplant.

But now that you are leaving, you bring us great pride tinged with sadness as we see you leave our small school community to explore the world at large. Our one hope is that you continue your patterns of joy, hard work, compassion and generosity. If you always look to your heart when making a decision, you will not go wrong.

I know you are all being showered with advice right now – everyone wants to tell you what to major in, how to be successful, and what NOT to do at college, but I want to take a moment of your time to share with you the lesson that teaching has continually presented to me. And that is the importance of remembering to always be kind to others because you never know what may be going on that you don’t see.

I am reminded of particular student – Armando – who was in my freshman English class. He was enrolled into my class a month into the school year. I didn’t think to ask why. He rarely smiled. I didn’t think to ask why. He never did his work – in class or at home. I didn’t think to ask why. I did try, however, to get him to work. I first tried joking with him. That didn’t work. I tried befriending him. That didn’t work. Finally I tried being aggressive with him and insisting he do his work. As you can probably imagine, that didn’t work.

Ultimately, I decided to let him be. I reasoned that it was his prerogative to not do his work. But then one day, I assigned an essay written in letter form. Students were to write to their parents asking for something. When I walked past Armando, he said to me, “Miss, I can’t do this assignment.” I wondered why this was different than any other assignment. A few minutes later, he repeated his claim, “Miss, I can’t do this assignment.”

Now, you think by now I might have keyed in to his need to tell me something, but I kept walking.

Finally, Armando asked to talk to me in the hall. There he said to me, “I can’t do this assignment because my dad’s in prison.” And then he paused, “And my mom died of cancer in August.”

At that moment, it became clear to me why Armando wasn’t doing his work. He felt like giving up because he felt life had given up on him.

From that moment on, our relationship changed. I looked forward to seeing Armando every other day. This change was not because of something he did differently, but because I saw him as the human being he was – a person just trying to get by.

Armando is fine now – every now and then he sends word to me about where he is and what he is doing. And I am grateful for those updates and for having known him.

I know that many students have walked in and out of my classroom who have struggled just as Armando had, and I probably never knew it. I stumble a lot with this lesson, but I do try to remember that every person is fighting some battle, and I hope that as you explore the larger world, you make it a better place by always remembering to forgive and to share your time and compassion with others.

Congratulations and thank you.

                 

2010 in Summary

Next blog prompt from Reverb 2010: December 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)


Here I we go: 2010 started out very bleak for me. The first three and half months were a dark time in my life. To this day, I am not entirely sure why. For some reason, my faith in myself and my places in my family and my social circle was shaken. Although I am not 100 percent clear on the cause of this dark moment in my life, I do know that the weather had something to do with it, and as the ground thawed, so did my attitude toward the world. In the spring, my energy and my enthusiasm slowly increased.

In April, my principal called me into his office. I was nervous. What had I or someone in my department done? I was surprised to hear that I was chosen as the CHS teacher of the year - surprised because as department chair, I had nominated three other teachers. I had hoped it would be one of them who had won. Shortly thereafter, I interviewed for and won the district Teacher of the Year.

One big decision I made this year was to step down as department chair. This gave me a lot more time this summer to enjoy summer. And so I started my master's program, which has been more work than I expected, but rewarding nonetheless.

In the fall, I finished my application for State Teacher of the Year, and I discovered in December that I had been chosen. That has been a whirlwind.

Meanwhile, the year was largely devoid of serious illness - no hospitalizations, knock on wood. We like Rosalind's 2nd grade teacher. Jason has also started his master's in liberal arts. Sawyer is starting to enjoy toys beyond trains, but we still love to read about, play with, and visit trains.

Time!

With that prompt over with, I have to say that thoroughly enjoying this weather.Spring in January.

I'd share what I am reading, but I am still reading about school finance. It's a lot more interesting that it sounds. This week we are discussing systemic challenges to school finance - vouchers and religious charter schools especially. I am also reading lots and lots (91to be exact) developing research papers. My favorite topics so far:

• What happened with the death of Benny Paret?
• Why should the federal Department of Education be eliminated?
• What is technology addiction?
• How do the recession and the Tahoe ski industry affect one another?
• What is behind the age controversy in the Olympics?
• What are Colic and Laminitis in horses and how can they be prevented and treated?

Sheesh! I love my job!

Most popular topics this year from my students:

• What is diabetes and how is it treated?
• What effect does music have on a person?
• What injuries are common in snowboarders and how can these be prevented?

Things are coming together with their papers. My seniors this year rock, in case I haven't mentioned that before. I better not get too used to it. Things could be very different next year, but for now, I am loving on my classes and closing with a picture from a year ago.

Best of: Recap and Project

I have been following Gwen Bell's Best of 2009 blog challenge for December. I have covered quite a bit. Before I move on to today's blog, I want to clarify something. The blog on Focused and Fearless basically counts for best book, while its author counts as best new person, and the associated retreat counts as best workshop. For a book I wasn't that thrilled about reading, it made a huge impact on me and my practice.

Today's topic is "project." What did you start this year that you're proud of.
It took some time to ponder this one. For quite some time, I could think of nothing. My projects aren't huge; they are, nevertheless, projects about which I feel some pride. The first is the organization of my crafting space, which I blogged about this summer on my other blog. It's so much easier to work in that environment now, and the space invites creative play.

I did start organizing my files and desk area, but that -- sadly -- never really materialized past the purchased labeler and some nicely labeled files. I need more follow-through there.

The other project that I am feeling pretty good about has to do with the senior project. I am working toward making the project more technologically friendly. The senior project is, after all, supposed to prepare students for the "real world," and truthfully what could better prepare them for this current world than technology? So I took all our forms and made them Adobe forms.

However, the one project I am most anticipating is the new digitial portfolio we're going to be piloting. To prevent as many glitches as possible, I made a template that students will be able to work out of. It's in Word, but you then publish it as a web page so that the links work fluidly. Someone can scroll down, page by page, or click on links from the table of contents and then back again. I'm crossing my fingers that it plays out well and that we don't have tons of judges without portfolios to view for whatever reason. But I think it's worth the effort and time it has taken me.

High of Life

As cheesy as it sounds, I feel high on life these days. My seniors projects are wrapping up, and while some insist that the project is too much and shouldn't be continued, others confess that now that it's over, they feel it was the most valuable assignment they have had because it has taught them necessary life skills. For each student, the lesson is different. For one student, it's learning to scale back on commitments. For another, it's learning the reward of not procrastinating. For another, it's learning that others live difficult lives beyond imagine. For a different student, the lesson is yet to come - the lesson that she can actually give an eight minute speech and survive it. Their pride in their projects is contagious.

What I love so much about the senior project is that it gives students something concrete of which to be proud. They have had support and are finding they will make it through. Rather than dodging work, they realize they have to put in effort and that they can actually succeed. That is real therapy, if you ask me. They don't need me to listen to their problems, to be their mothers, to feed them lunch. They need me to provide them with an opportunity to be successful, and successful they are. They deserve to feel some pride right now. Way to go class of 2008!

My favorite projects from this year:

• One student raised money for an organization that provides clean water to the people of Ethiopia.
• Another shadowed an OB nurse and passed out twice and threw up twice her first day. I gave her the option of choosing a different project the next day, and she would have none of it.
• Another student is working on his hot air balloon license.
• Another student learned about Thai cuisine. He went out on a limb and called our local Thai restaurant, The Basil, and the chef there agreed to be his mentor. They met every Sunday and cooked a full meal. Then the student would practice the meal throughout the week.
• One boy worked with the local public defender's office and got to sit in on an interrogation.
• Another boy learned to play the violin. Although learning to play a musical instrument is a pretty typical senior project, this student busted ass, scuze my language, and really learned how to play.

I love my students.

Just for fun

I love this picture of DS, even though traditionally it doesn't fit anything considered a normal portrait. It captures his go-get-it-ness. He's a blast.

On another note, his language development has been a little slow. The doctor is concerned that he has "lost" some words. Apparently this is one of the first signs of autism. Surprisingly, I am very calm about this. He hasn't been diagnosed at all, but no parent wants to hear that a word. Nevertheless, I feel pretty certain that things will be okay - that he probably isn't autistic and that if he is, we can still be a happy, loving family.

What I'm reading - I am reading two books right now. For work, I am reading Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. I LOVE this book, but don't recommend it for everyone. It isn't a happy read. Ellison deals with the theme of self-identity, which is important to me probably because I'm a high school teacher and see young people dealing with issues of identity every day. I love this book so much that I almost named my son Ellison after the author. (We decided it was too close to Allison.)

The other book I am reading is called Hooked - Buddhist Teachings on Greed, Desire, and the Urge to Consume. This is a collection of essays by Buddhists on comsumption and its consequences. I'm reading it as prep for my Hungry Ghost talk I'm giving next week. I am loving the book, finding it enlightening and entertaining. I really enjoy reading essays, and since cunsumption patterns is a topic I find interesting, I am finding it fascinating.

School has gotten a lot more enjoyable now that I'm done with the research papers. I'm incredibly proud of my students for all their hard work and am glad to come out from beneath the heap of research papers. Now I have a ton of grading for AP, but it isn't nearly as overwhelming.

New Challenge/Staying Sane with Papers

For the month of February, I have decided that I will eat veggies with at least two meals per day. For some people, this may seem like a no-brainer, but I'm more of a bread and meat and fruits eater, so this could be challenging.

I forgot on Friday, so I started yesterday. It was good for. For lunch, I ate a salad before I ate the rest of my lunch. For dinner, I had hot and sour soup, which - now that I think of it - doesn't really have many veggies at all. Hmm... I need to pay more attention.

I wanted something that wouldn't mean a lot of extra time, since I will be getting 90 research papers in soon. I won't have much time to do anything besides live and grade, particularly since Jason has a play opening in two weeks and since I have a limited amount of time due to committee due dates. I am working on keeping a positive attitude and trying to find a way I can grade all those papers without giving up the rest of my life. I know it's possible.

My plan:

• Remember to keep a positive attitude and remember that this time is short lived.
• Allow for flexibility. If a paper doesn't get graded in time for committee, so be it. We'll all survive.
• Ask to be subbed out a couple days to grade.
• Use my special ed teachers to plan and teach so that I can grade.
• Use a B6 prep here and there to grade.
• Start deligating more, esp. with department head work.
• Hire a cleaning lady.
• Working out and meditating to help with stress.
• Saying goodbye to sewing and scrapbooking for a while (gotta finish that skirt first!).
• Keep the papers down to 1/2 hour a pop versus the 1 hour allotment I've used in the past.
• Ask my co-teachers to take the lower end special ed students' papers.
• Make sure I give students enough time to write, edit, peer edit, and edit again so that their papers are as good as they can make them.
• Refuse to grade sloppy, unedited papers.
• Ask my friend to babysit once in a while at night so I can grade.

Okay. This isn't therapy. I need to print this list and post if on my mirror and in my car and in my purse and on my computer at school.

The Research Paper Blues

Well, it's that time of year, the time of year when I ask myself, "Good God! Why are we doing this to ourselves, to our students?" The time of year when I wish the senior project didn't exist at my school. The time of year when I dread going to class and dread even more the onslaught of research papers that will soon come in and the nights hunched over the kitchen table reading and editing and commenting.

This time of year I have to remind myself daily that in a couple months my students will feel so proud about their work that they'll beam. I have to remind myself that in a couple months I'll feel so proud of my students - and myself - that I'll beam.

I have to remind myself that the senior project is worthwhile. That students have a right to know how to write a research paper even if they don't plan on going to college right after school.

I have to remind myself that CHS has the lowest college remediation rate at UNR, that our students do perform well in writing.

It is worth it . . . even if it doesn't feel like it is right now.